Begin forwarded message:
From: ALAN SKEOCH <alan.skeoch@rogers.com>Subject: HOT PEPPERS GARDEN 2020Date: September 6, 2020 at 4:58:07 AM EDTTo: Alan Skeoch <alan.skeoch@rogers.com>
EPISODE 110 “FATALLII PEPPER” … OUR BRAINS SURGED…ALERT! ALERT!…AND WE RAN.”
alan skeoch
Sept 2020
The scene may look pastoral…relaxed. But that was not the case…even Woody
the dog looked for relief and he did not eat any peppers.
Now what in tarnation is this? Shrivelled up pepper due to the month long drought.
NOT SO!
“Here Andrew, we grew these odd looking peppers…do you know them?”
“Hot peppers, Mom.”
“I thought they were different…small, shrivelled looking, wrinkled.”
“Here taste one.”
And Andrew, pinched off a piece about size of a radish seed…tiny.
“Here, Dad, you have a taste too.”
Both Marjorie and I immediately had flashes from our brains. “
Alert! Alert! Do not eat. Regurgitate now. You are in danger!”
Andrew gave a lopsided grin. “Hot, eh!”
By then we were both racing to the farm house for water…for anything that would reduce the burning sensation on our
lips…tongue,..throat. We had immediately spit out the tiny piece of green or yellow wrinkled pepper fruit. Spitting out
did no good. We needed water. Marjorie got to the house first. I tried to soldier out the exploding burning sensation.
But I needed water…anything.
Marjorie was arched over the kitchen sink. “I think I’m going to vomit. Maybe faint. Need water..water.”
Since she had the sink, there was no room for me. I yanked open the refrigerator where a half consumed
bottle of beer was cooling. I drank some right away. Seemed to reduce the burning. “Here Marjorie, try this.”
She does not normally like beer but gave it a shot. She was returning to normal by that time anyway.
What in hell’s half acre had we eaten? A pepper. I knew that but what kind of pepper?
Later, about 3 a.m. while we combed the internet for pictures of peppers we agreed that one variety
…the Fatalii pepper…was closest. Fatalii peppers are the hottest pepper on earth according to internet
sources. Like all peppers they originated in South America but were ‘improved’ in Africa which is the
main source.
NORMAL GREEN PEPPER FRUIT BESIDE FATALII HOT PEPPERS.
One source was dead on. Dead on? Wrong term since we did not die. But the source said that as soon as
piece of the Falalii pepper touches the lips then the tongue, our brains immediately go into overdrive with
the Alerts. And that is what happened. As soon as that little piece of pepper flesh hit our tongues
there was word from our brain. “Spit the damn thing out right now…get water right now…beer will do if no
water.” As it turns out relief from the burning is best relieved by milk or other dairy products. We did
not know that.
How did Fatalii peppers get into our garden? That is our fault. We try to look for unusual plants
at garden centres and I dimly remember a hand drawn sigh saying something about a hot pepper plant
at a nursery near Erin. Could have also been the nursery on Trafalgar Road north of Oakville. Due
to the Covid 19 scare we wore masks and were encouraged to make our purchases and leave
quickly. Marjorie must have grabbed the Fatalii…not me…I am too smart for that. (Ahem!)
Thankfully the pepper is not really Fatal. Just seems so.
The plant is still alive. Now here is an idea. We will keep growing these peppers and will put them in a special place
in hopes that any future thieves will sample them. So, be warned, if you look in our refrigerator
and see a hand written sign saying “Tastes good…take a bite.”..please do not be fooled unless
you are a thief.
alan skeoch
Sept. 2020
P>S> Fatalii is the closest we could come to identifying these peppers. We could be
wrong.
P.P.S In the course of our night long research we discovered that some craft beers
used tiny bits of Fatalli peppers to sharpen the taste. Imagine that. Much more can be
said but I think this is enough.
P.P.S. What about Andrew? What did we do to get even? What ‘should’ we do?
Laughter is inappropriate somehow. We are debating the problem.
Marjorie took this picture of part of our crop. A good warning sign. Note the hole in one of the Fatalii peppers where
some kind of slug, worm, bug…crawled inside and died I think.
Marjorie does not usually like beer…but this day, the day of the hot pepper, she changed her mind.