EPISODE 550 WORST JOB I EVER HAD IN MY LIFE…HATED AND LOVED IT AT SAME TIME: GROUNDHOG RIVER WILDERNESS 1958
alan skeoch
March 13, 2022
WHY IN TARNATION WOULD ANYONE WANT TO READ ABOUT MY TOUGHEST JOB?
Seems a little self-obsessed. I admit that. And I know some of you do not read any of the
printed part of these Episodes. Maybe glance at the pictures. Maybe just say “:God, not
another email from him! “HIM?” Well, I did an edit…cut the list of names but got objections.
So here is an unusual story sent in parts. Why should you be interested? Let me try a simple
answer. The job I am about to present was so rough that few of you would ever have had the chance to
venture into the Canadian boreal forest wilderness for two months cut off from most
human contact except for rare three visits by a float plane from Austin Airways bringing
food or coming on an emergency flight to take two badly injured out to hospital where one, Walter ,
spent months saving his arm from amputation. This was a tough job. Not pretty.
Why should you be interested? Put yourself in my shoes. Would you get in
a Land Rover with two men you had never met to spend months
alone with them in a trackless wilderness. Would you let your son take
that risk?
See that gap in the boxes and gear? That was my seat as we took off from South Porcupine. July 6, 1958.
Why should you be interested? Would you grab at the chance to spend the summer
of 1958 doing real exploration … searching for a source of magnetism found by
an airborne magnetometer flying a grid over a seemingly endless Canadian wilderness.
Would you be captivated by the task of cutting trails with a blazing axe where no one
had ever gone before. Do you know how dangerous a blazing axe can be?
Why should you be interested? Could you stand to be a walking feast for thousands
of tiny blood sucking bastardly bush flies? Deer flies with chevron wings that could land
gently and then take a good chunk of your flesh. Moose flies that were larger and got a
bit more flesh and blood. Mosquitoes that were tanker trucks for human blood. Black flies
that loved to chew flesh in hidden places…around your belt, in your ears, on your
neck. Ground wasps that gave no warning until you stepped on their nesting hole.
Protection? Would you rub yourself with foul smelling guck to ward off these attacks?
Better to just stop washing. Let dirt and grime fill your pores and keep the flies confused.
Why should you be interested? Would you like to sleep with three other men
on a single huge bed made from spruce or cedar branches? Would you be able
to get along with strangers for months of close contact. At one
point I asked Floyd why bush crews did not have guns. We were visited by
black bears often. “Simple, if we had a gun we might shoot each other.”
Now that made sense to me. Especially when I threw two tantrums on the job.
This is Walter Helstein. A man too old for the job really but necessity forced
him to do so. A good man who got badly hurt when a tag alder spike
pierced his hand. We could not help him. A rescue plane could not land.
Walter was over 60 years old…tough man….toughened by the Great Depression.
Why should you be interested? Have you ever heard a friend whimper in
pain as infection took hold of his body which had been spiked by a tag
alder spear.. Clear through his hand. And there was nothing you could do to help because the weather
was so bad that a plane could not land on the little wilderness lake where
you were camped. Have you heard those cries?
Why should you be interested? Have you ever eaten wormy food? Not little
worms. Blow fly maggots regularly got into our slab of sowbelly. Each morning
we would slice off a chunk due to blow fly eggs and/or maggots just to get to
the good meat. Have you ever had to make do with a steadily diminishing
food supply until all that is left is raw oat meal? Have you ever eaten slabs
of cold porridge slathered with peanut butter…lunch made from left overs
at breakfast. Have you ever made tea from Labrador leaves? Have you ever
sipped scotch whisky from a coffee cup and considered it a luxury? Have you ever
eaten wild berries from plants you have never seen before? Have you ever
eaten swamp apples…orange in colour the size of big rasberries. Have you ever
been sick in a place where there is no medical aid?
Why should you be interested? Have you ever worn gum rubbers with so many holes
that your socks became sodden lumps on your pock marked feet? Feet? Pock marked?
Wet socks heated up and boiled your feet. Sometimes flesh could be peeled off. The most
important job returning to camp at night was to try and dry your socks for the next day.
Have you ever had to patch your clothes with slabs of medical tape just to cover the holes
caused by constant rubbing against tangles of tag alder or spruce boughs.?
See those gum rubbers? They had holes that let water in…wet socks…boiled
feet became pock marked. So much so that flesh could be peeled.
Why should you be interested? Have you ever turned to Lonely Hearts Club letters
for entertainment and come to the conclusion there are people in this world whose
lives are far worse than yours. How could girls become so desperate that they would
offer to move in with you sight unseen? How could their hell on earth be worse than
your hell on earth? Why were these lonely hearts club letters be funny on first reading
and then be so sad.
Why should you be interested? Perhaps just to test yourself. Just to see if you
could triumph over adversity. To show you can overcome fear. Trekking alone through
the forest following tiny blazes on trees. To lose the blazes is to become lost, perhaps
hopelessly so. And while slogging alone you begin to sense you are being tracked
by some creature You stop suddenly and listen. No sound. The imagery carnivore
following you has stopped as well. You reach the Groundhog River base camp
and switch on the two way emergency radio to hear Evangelist Billy Graham saving
souls and look across he river to see a lumbering bull moose listening as well.
Why should you be interested? Have you ever paddled beside a cow moose and her calf so close you can touch
them. Have you ever heard a cow moose telling her calf in sonorous voice that he or
she should beware of foul smelling human prospectors?
Why should you be interested? Have you ever noticed that the leaves of springtime turn to the golden leaves
of September? Have you ever lived among those leaves, those spruce boughs, those deadly tag alder
slashed spikes. Have you ever had a black bear beside you both looking AT the moon at the same time.
Have you ever been that close to nature.
Have you ever made a four man bed out of spruce and cedar boughs and then
had the thing collapse when all four bedded down?
Why should you be interested? Have you ever felt real triumph? Have you ever tested
yourself to see how much adversity you can take? Have you ever been 19years old
on the edge of adulthood and discovered you are OK?
THIS misty photo is Floyd Faulkner. He started as a cage man in Kirkland Lake. A friend
was also a cage man when the cable failed. “Had to scrape him off the floor with a shovel!”
Floyd preferred to work aboveground after that. He was good at nicknames for people…had one for me..
Why should you be interested? Have you ever been flattered with the new
nickname ‘Fucking Al’. Have you ever realized that nicknames might be
compliments in reverse.
Why should you be interested? Have you ever had a stewardess on an Air Canada
VisCount offer you a Peek Frean shortbread cookie and a glass of lemonade? Have
you ever had the feeling you are special and then nibbled and nursed the luxury
as the airplane lifted over Timmins and South Porcupine en route to Toronto.
Why should you be interested? Have you ever come home from such a summer advenuture
to find your friends Russ Vanstone, Jim Romaniuk, Big Red Stevenson, your brother Eric and
your parents standing there to greet you. Mom with a smile of relief. Dad, not saying much because
he is en route to the racetrack. Proud though…son had survived. Your brother is holding a hand painted sign
saying “Go Back, Al.” Have you ever had your friends, Russ and Jim, greet you at Pearson Airport
because they want those lonely hearts club letters?
Why should you be interested? Should I tell my friends that I have a new nickname?
FUCKING AL ! Would they understand? How could I know that the next years of my life in
the summers I would be living rough and loving it?I Would love the wilderness so much
that, in the future, take my wife Marjorie along with me?
THIS Journal was written in the summer of 1958 then rewritten in 2018
and now submitted in several Episodes.
This was the toughest job I ever faced. Makes me proud to say that I only threw
two temper tantrum on the whole job. See if you can find them.
The Episodes will start shortly. Why should you be interested?
GROUNDHOG RIVER EPISODES ARE COMING NEXT
alan skeoch
March 14, 2022