alan skeoch

June 4. 2-23

We were drifting down the Fifth when a giant spider appeared…immense green thing.  Bigger than a bread basket.

Then a little blue car passed us and I know what the driver was thinking.  So do you.   He …(must have been a male driver

because no female would be so stupid)…He thought , “I can rip through the gap between the spiders legs.:

And that was the last we saw of him or the spider.

A little further down the road we met a giant centipede that looked really hungry.

I think it ate both spider and that little blue car.   

We did not stop to inspect.   Discretion is the better part of valour.

To whom should we report this tragedy?

alan

Postscript

Remember the bit of doggerel about Algie?

“Algie met a bear and the bear was bulgy and the bulge was Algie!”

The little blue car met a centipede that was bulgy and the bulge was the little blue car.”..

(somehow that version is not as good as the bear version…but it happened.  At least I think it happened.

The male driver?  That was a guess based on prejudice….it could have been a female.

alan

alan skeoch

June 2, 2023

MY life has been happy most of the time.  Only a Sore knee from football injury. Unlike the student i remember so well at Parkdale  C I in the 1960’s which has a similarity to

what Marjorie and her brother faced in the 1950’s.   (Picture of Marjorie and Doug Hughes )

WHY WAS I SO LUCKY IN LIFE WHILE OTHERS FACED TRAGEDY…ESPECIALLY ONE LITTLE BOY WHOSE NAME IS FORGOTTEN?

Last night I could not sleep so memory took over.  For some strange reason I thought about

a sad little boy in my Grade 9 class at Parkdale C.I.  He was very shy….avoided speaking if he could.

Likely poor.  How do I know that?  Because  a lot of the students were poor which made him

unremarkable I suppose.  

I think his dad died in November in 1964 or 1965. Think he sidled shyly up to my desk and said “My dad died.”  Or

another student told me.  That evening I went to the funeral home. A dark place wth 25 Watt light  bulbs. 

Frightening.  The boy was alone in one room.  Seemed surprised and glad to see me. But sad and confused…perhaps frightened. 

“How is your mom?”

“She died.”

No mom.  No dad.  No siblings.  No visitors.  No funeral service.  Just this sad little boy and the

casket with his father’s remains.

Why did he come to mind on a sleepless night over sixty years later?  Why?   Because I did nothing to

help.  Just visited the funeral home across from Bellwood Park where other kids joyfully played ball hockey.

I did nothing.   I am not sure I even alerted the principal about the boy.  I do not even remember his

name.

How lucky I was.  Surrounded by people who liked me.  A huge extended Skeoch family … so large

I had trouble sorting out my nieces and nephews.   My grandparents on both sides welcomed visits 

with food and genuine interest in my life.

Yet this little boy had no one.  Sad.  Sadness captured by the song Old Man River… “Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen.  

Nobody knows but Jesus!”

Whch made me start thinking about Marjorie.  Fast asleep beside me in bed.  A happy girl…woman…wife….future parent.

Both her parents died.  Her mom died at Christmas 1954 when Marjorie was in Grade 9 at Lawrence Park Collegiate.  At her mom’s funeral she

did not cry until Mr. Chick, her teacher, brought her home form class to the funeral home.  At least She had her dad

who taught her how to fish, how to raise baby rabbits. That was some consolation.

But in April 1956 he died as well.  Marjorie found him and did not know what to do.  She woke her brother.

“Doug, I think Dad is dead.  What should I do?’

”I think you should go to school.  I’ll look after things.”

   Marjorie walked to school in a daze. Sat in her class

and wondered why.  What should she do?  What could she do? She went to the office.

“I am going home.”

“Why?”

“My father died this morning.”

And she went home.  Her high school did nothing.  Marjorie was like the sad little boy described 

earlier.  No mom.  No dad.  No one seemed to care.  Her brother was eight years older than Marjorie

Already making his way in an adult world.  

“What happened to your house?”

“We were renters.”

“Your furniture?”

“People came and took what they wanted.  Strangers.”

There is one big difference between the sad little boy and Marjorie.  She was rescued by her aunt Phyllis Morgan who

was a Latin teacher in the North Bay high school.

“Marjorie, you will come to live with us when the school term ends.”

“Pack what you can carry.  We have a room for you and a new high school..”

And that was all.   Her brother put Marjorie on the train to  North Bay with her single suitcase.

That was the low point  Soon events turned upward.

Marjorie was loved and rescued.   

  Her life in North Bay turned out to be wonderful.   She joined the curling team, drama club,

played basketball, went skiing, got good marks, danced, had lots of boy friends who were serious about her.  How do I know that?

Because when I appeared on the scene she introduced me to them all…even one that proposed marriage.

Her aunt created a new life for Marjorie  Helped her forget the terror of that

morning when she found her father.  She was loved.

Maybe.  Just maybe…that sad little boy in my Grade Nine class had an uncle or  aunt …older brother or sister…friend..

that rescued him.  

I do not know.  All I do know is that I did nothing .   I did nothing.  And that memory stays with me still.   

What should I have done?

alan skeoch

june 2, 2023

P>S>   What do schools do when tragedy strikes a student?  I will ask Mary.

alan skeoch

MAY 30, 2023

How would you handle this situation?  My Grade 13 Home Form decided to play a joke on me

THEY took over the blackboard where I had drawn a gross caricature.

Someone wrote 

“Mr. Skeoch ,alias E.T.” (the extra terrestrial movie had just been released)

The drawing was mine…big nose, big mouth.

The words were written by someone in 13D

Today, May 30, 2032, I asked Marjorie what she thought of E.T.

“Who?”

“Remember the movie  E/T/. the extra terrestrial; who visited our planet…toured on a bicycle 

“Yes, that would be the late 1960’s,  why do you ask?”

“If you had to describe E.T. in one word, what would it be?”

“Inquisitive…..he was curious”

“Is that a good characteristic?”

“”Of course it is.”

“Then this picture must be flattering.”

(Students felt secure enough to make fun of me  and still have respect)

WHAT THE PICTURE REVEALS

1) I AM wearing a 3 piece suit so pic must have been taken around 1970

2) Picture reveals that my home form, 13D felt relaxed enough to write “Mr. Skeoch alias

E.T.”  and sign collective name 13D

3) The caricature was draw by me.  Big nose, big mouth, brush cut.   I think I was teaching Voltaire’s book Candide in

which the boy Candide toured Europe with his teacher whose name in translation was

“Big Mouth”, a name my students enjoyed.

4) As a group we were relaxed enough to do give and take….i.e. join a conversation.

“Why did Voltaire put ‘Big Mouth” in his novel?

5) Famous line in the book?  “If this is the best of all possible worlds, what then of the others?”

6) My comment?  Read Candide, you’ll love it because the chapters are only a couple of pages long.

7) What was my own personal discovery about teaching?  I remember my shock those first few days

as a teacher….the students all called me “Sir”….and they did this for my entire testing career.  

What did “sir” mean to me?   It meant the kids respected me.   As a teacher if you are respected then

all things are possible.   If there is no respect then nothing is possible.

i.e.  We had a teacher at Parkdale C.I. who just could not get  respect.  One day when I slipped out for a coffee

I found him sitting on the step of his portable classroom. 

 “What’s wrong?

“The students have taken control.”

“HOW?”

“I was having difficulty with them.”

(The classroom was full of noise and kids jumping up ad down…and laughing…hooting even)

“God awful noise they are making…how did that happen?”

“I lost control and said “What do you expect me to do…”stand up, sit down, act like a fool?”

“Then all hell broke loose…they began jumping  and sitting .jup and down…hooting.”

“Odd.”

“Worst thing is that they have now locked me out of the portable classroom.”

“Call the VP”

“Are you kidding.  he will think I cannot teach…have no respect….so I will lsit here until the bell goes.”

(And he did. He was still siting there when I cam back with my coffee.  The hullabaloo was continuing…

he never got respect and eventually gave up teaching.  Very sad.  Nice guy.)

alan

P.S.   THE PICTURE WAS REATURED IN THE PARKDALE YEARBOOK AS I REMEMBER

alan skeoch

May 30, 2023

We live in a frantic intersection of raw QEW and Hurontario highways in Misissauga.  

Currently the throughways are being ripped apart  for an  LRT.

Within a stones throw of the construction is one of the places where coyotes feel at home.  They have taken 

ownership of a several acre woodland.   And they are not afraid to show their ownership…their lack of 

fear. Our dog Woody smells coyote spoor when I cannot see anything.

   I could see nothing that was alivedown the back of

lot where an ancient dump rake rests.  Nothing. Noting Nothing. Woody knew better.

Evenutually the coyote slipped from the woodland camouflage into the daylight.

No intention of running away.  Daring Woody to dig under the fence. Hungry.

Back to being invisible in an instant.  If your eyes are good

you can see him or her beside the left wheel of the dump rake.  I think, but not sure.

In the small wilderness park a male and female coyote are raising three or four pups.

Playful stage right now.  Woody is now aware that coyotes prefer food to play. Dangerous  should

he venture down the back of our lot.  He learned that the hard way when he

slipped through the gate and joined a coyote a while ago.   Not a playful moment.

The coyote took a bite out of Woody’s backside.  Food. Woody skedaddled back home fast.

Do not expect to see the coyotes.  They are smart.  They move around seeking, rabbits, garbage.Softly from place to place.

Itinerent.   They are not stupid.   Why do they seem to prefer urban places to rural places?

Food I believe.  Not as many cats around here as their once were.Coyotes are not a big danger

to Woody  Little dogs are more edible

I like the coyotes.  Not everyone does.

alan skeoch

may 27, 2023

What do you see here?

There is more to a stump fence than meets the eye. However you will need a dash of imagination.

Maybe a dollop of abstract thinking.   Maybe it is possible to see things in a stump fence that 

do not exist except in our minds.    A stump fence is a kind of wooden 

Rorschach test…(an ink block test).

Long long ago I remember sitting in Runnymede Presbyterian church when Dr. McQueen

gave his regular children sermon.   He always did this before the adult sermon.  I could 

enjoy those sermons because he used stump fences as triggers for presenting big ideas.

. “This week 

I found this piece of a stump fence that looked like a woodpecker hunting for hidden

grubs.”   

IMAGINARY LESSON FROM A STUMP FENCE

“This week we have a woodpecker in search

of food…a listener…a searcher for something unseen….a hard worker whose life depends on 

the ability to pound out holes in search of treasure.  Some humans do that every day.

Work can be hard.  Hard work, however, often leads to treasure.   A good book can do that.

I read one the other day titled Silent Spring by Rachel Carson.   You would like that book.

…presents big ideas that should concern us all.  Like the dangers of pesticides.”

All this from a chunk of a stump fence.  yes.  Imagination is wonderful.  Use it.

CAN YOU SEE ANYTHING IMAGINARY IN THESE STUMPS?

DID you notice the sea otter about to be engulfed by big wave?

I see a young sea otter…or is it a duck?

…Marjorie saw a mongoose.

alligator or snake about to eat a yellow flower

coiled python with head hidden

gaping mouth of the child python found

on a root about 20 feet away from  the body…that

is one big Pythonl

FIND THE TINY HAND!

Tiny hand reading out to greet.   Can you find the hand in the original pic? I bet you cannot!

alan    may 28,2023

(I SAW A TINY HAND REACHING OUT IN GREETING….does that mean anything?

POST SCRIPT:  RORSCHACH TEST

alan skeoch

May 26, 2023

Wow…this has been a grand month..worth preserving  A fragment.

EPISODE 825     WHAT WE BOUGHT OR BARGAINED..SET SALE MAY 2023  MATTHEW BOLTON, MRTIN BUDD

alan skeoch 

May 26, 2023

Some Of our friends are ‘downsizing’.   Moving from large homes to smaller condominiums or

apartments.  We are going in the opposite direction…’upsizing’ for the movie industry.  Doubt

very much that any reader will feel envious.   Some may even be rather shocked.

In order to upsize for these two five ton truckloads my nephew Robert Skeoch and i spent

a whole day reducing our collection and hauling a lot of things to the dump.  Some had

to be rescued later when a movie set wanted things we had decreed superfluous.

We have  learned a hard lesson.  We cannot provide al things to all movies.   So our collection comes under the headline of ‘period’ items.  Some

things are even abused.  No self respecting movie script seems to want brand new set dressing.  A little or a lot of abuse makes a movie seem real.  Life

is that way.  Imperfect. Abused by the human hand.  Used .. neglected.  Broken and forgotten.  Such things are valued highly by set buyers.  “There

is no fake aging process that replicates the ravage of time.”  Painters and carpenters can do a good job making a brand new chair and table look old

and abused. But time and neglect do a better job.

A n obsolete three furrow plow abandoned in a fence row for half a century cannot look shiny and fit for the showroom floor. A crate which is supposed to

be weathered and broken cannot show the new heads of Robertson screws.  Get the idea?

The cast iron machine on the left looked good to me.  I have no idea of its purpose .  But it looks good…Fading paint make it look  better. If you know the machine then drop a note to me. Cast iron with a pulley that connected to a  motor of some kind.  Pretty.

There is an exception to every rule.  The ammunition crates above , sort of military looking. do look new and should be so if the 40 of them

are part of a war themed movie.    We bought all 40.  We had a gut feeling they will be wanted.  Of course we could be wrong.  Some of the

things we hauled to the dump had never been wanted by a set buyer.  

 Even raccoons and Opposums and squirrels had avoided them.  One winter 

a large grey owl took up residence in our barn.  That discouraged other creatures thankfully.

Marjorie provided home made pizza for the crew.    Now that is unusual … moreso than anything else in these pictures.

Begin forwarded message:

From: ALAN SKEOCH <alan.skeoch@rogers.com>

Subject: Fwd: EPISODE 822 ALAN, WE ARE CLEARING THE MOVIE SET”

Date: May 26, 2023 at 12:13:42 PM EDT

To: Paul Caron <bumpa36@rogers.com>, Matthew Bolton <matthew.c.bolton@gmail.com>

I ASSUME THIS STORY IS SAFE TO SEND OUT….AVOIDS PROBLEMS WITH SET….NO NAMES, NO DETAIL PICS OF SET

I HAVE EVERYTHING STOWED AWAY EXCEPT FOR CRATES…..SEEMS YOU GUYS ARE VER BUSY…NO NEED TO RESPOND

ALAN.

Begin forwarded message:

EPISODE 823   “ALAN, WE ARE CLEARING THE MOVIE SET”

alan skeoch

may 21, 2023

Marjorie found the only living plant in the whole 5 square km movie set

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A MOVIE SHUTS DOWN?  DEMOLITION AND  DISPERSAL

Martin and Matthew called us one morning a few days ago.

“Perhaps you and Marjorie might be interested in some of the things we had for the movie.”(name of movie withheld)

“Sure thing.”

“We’ll send a limousine around to pick you up.”

“We can drive “

“The set is hard to find even though it covered 5 square kilometres of buildings. Best we pick

you up. The place has security people.  You know what movie  making entails. Secrecy.”

NOTE:  This story avoids specifics.  All pictures of the movie set … i.e. the village that was constructed

has been deleted.   So the privacy of movie making has been respected.  There is still

much to see.  

A stretched limousine picked us up. The driver, John,

said we had him for the day.  And it took a full day….two huge locations,  a sound stAge and an open air site.

Why were we treated so well?  Because some of the things we rented to them needed to be eye balled.

And some tHings were for sale.

The site was hidden behind wall after wall of gigantic 53 foot long shipping containers piled on top

of each other.  There was a gate house and a security guard.  John had clearance.  We felt like royalty.

 

EPISODE 822    “UGLY AS A STUMP FENCE” 

 

alan skeoch

May 23, 2023

NOTE TO READERS…SORRY FOR DELAY, COMPUTER ROUBLE

“UGLY AS A STUMP FENCE”…expression coined in 19th century

EUREKA….WE FOUND A STUMP FENCE , MAY 25, 2023….SIXTH LINE

Marjorie Likes to deviate en route to the farm.  Takes longer.  I prefer the fastest direct route

and complain when she finds a new road.   But not today.  We cut up the sixth line from Steeles

and lo and behold discovered the remains of a stump fence.  Skeletons from the distant past.

Deep distant past.  Stump fences were common  a century ago.  Survivors of the onerous

task of clearing land by new immigrants,  Pioneer farms were not pretty.  Before a crop could be

grown the old growth forests had to be cleared.  Doing so was simple but ugly.  Farmers 

with axes cut the living bark from the towering white pine, oaks and maples.  Without bark

the trees died.  That took time…perhaps a year of two.  So pioneer farms were covered with

the skeletons of dead trees.   Some were useful and were squared into beams for barns.  Most

however were not. 

So they stood like dead soldiers.  Or fell and were butchered trunk from root. 

Even then they were not moved.  They had imbedded earth and could not be lifted

easily.  Farmers had to wait years…yes years….until the roots dried out and the imbedded earth

fell away.  Then they could be hauled to fence rows to form fields.    Mass of roots faced out

and trunks faced in.   Today there are still survivors of these root fences…some nearly 200

years old.   And today root fences are considered charming.  When they were constructed by

farmers with oxen or horses the root fences seem to have been considered ugly, hence

the expression “ugly as a stump fence” .

In 1850 stop Clearing was a business.  Huge triangle root lifters were centred over the cropses then oxen or horses were

used with the help of chin toilet the stumps.  profitable at 25 cents  a root.l  Twenty five cents!  A  dollar in 1850 was worth $39 in our

terms.  Stop pulling was a good business.   Farmers often had to wait until they could afford to hire

a stump [uller.

FAR RIGHT ENGRAVING BY W.J. BENNETT, 1787-1844

Mrs. Anna Jameson’s described a girdled forest she saw on the main road between Hamilton and Branford. “[For] a space of about three miles, bordered entirely on each side by dead trees, which had been artificially blasted by fire or girdling. It was a ghastly forest of tall white spectres, strangely contrasting with the glowing luxurious foliage all around…Without exactly believing the assertion of the old philosopher, that a tree feels the first stroke of the axe, I know I never witness nor hear that first stroke without a shudder; and as yet I cannot look on with indifference, far less share the Canadian’s exultation, when these huge oaks, these umbrageous elms and stately pines, are lying prostrate, lopped of all their hours, and piled in heaps with the brushwood, to be fired,—or burned down to a charred and blackened fragment,—or standing leafless, sapless, seared, ghastly, having ben ‘girdled’ and left to perish.” (Anna Jameson: Winter Studies and Summer Rambles in Canada, 1838, Vol. II, pp. 102-3)