Alan's Oeuvre
| Subject: | YOU ARE A GODDAMN FOOL!” “DAD, YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.” |
|---|---|
| Date: | Wed, 17 Jan 2018 22:03:21 -0500 |
| From: | Alan Skeoch |
| To: | Marjorie Skeoch |
“YOU ARE A GODDAMN FOOL!” “DAD, YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.”
DAD SPOKE IN OPPOSITES…IF HE LIKED SOMETHING, HE SAID IT WAS JUNK. WHEN HE CALLED ME A DIMWIT, HE MEANT I WAS OK. NOT THAT I WAS GREAT…JUST OK. WE LIKED THAT….NO SLOPPY SENTIMENTALITY. NO KISSING AND HUGGING.alan skeochJan. 2018
“Marjorie, the humane society just called, they have a black and tan coonhound pup up here. Needs a home.”“Tell them to Hold her for us.”“Are you sure? Coonhounds are hunting dogs.”“They are so beautiful…affectionate, loyal…shame to let that dog go too a gun lover.”And so we adopted our Tara. She was absolutely stunning as a pup and as an adult.Often men would stop to pet Tara…some even wanted us to give her up in hunting season.“Black and tan, eh? Does she bugle?”“Bugle?”“Coonhounds Holler like Louis Armstrong’s trumpet when they tree a raccoon. Love that sound,?“How is her nose?”“Nose?”“Black and tans are bred to hunt. Sure not a house dog…traced back to medieval times …to the Talbot Hound. That hound was mostly white back in the 16th century. Some were used to track thieves rather than small game. Over here they were bred in the eastern mountains as great hunting dogs. Once they get a scent, you canforget about getting them back. Best to follow the nose..the bugling… until they tree whatever they chase. Not a house dog.”“But we got Tara for the kids…for our house. We do not hunt. We hate guns and cannot understand why hunters want to kill things.”“Well you got yourselves the wrong dog, that is for sure. Better to give her away to a hunter.”
MARJORIE AND KEVIN SKATING DOWN THE FIFTH LINE
There was a time when the fifth line was regularly ice covered sometimes so thick and smooth that Marjorie and Kevin skated from our farm right down past Kerrs and on to Saunders, then Lietches and Fabers and onward. They could have reached Highway 7 easily. About two miles of ice covered road gently sloping south.
Impulse. “Let’s ask all of Andrew’s friends up to the farm to swim in the swamp.”“boys and girls?”“The whole bunch.”“What about the risks?”“Risks?”“Someone could drown…pushing and pulling…water will be muddied up.”“Never going to happen….”
From: Alan Skeoch
Subject: Barn Building – a skill I seem to lack
Date: January 5, 2018 at 3:01:48 PM GMT-5
To: alanskeoch
STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES: A HARD LESSON LEARNED IN BARN BUILDING
alan skeochjanuary 2018
“Marjorie, stand beside the car…Pregnancy getting close to term…we are going to have a baby!”“Alan, when the baby arrives you will have to pay attention to other things.”
“Meaning what?”
“Meaning, I will need help.”
“Right! You can count on me.”
“We can no longer pile farm equipment and planks on the roof rack.”
“Why not? The baby isn’t going be put on the roof rack, is it?
“Think…think…think, Alan. Or is that too much to ask?
“Act like an adult for once in your life.”
So that is when the great idea came to mind…like a flash of lightning.
No, I have not joined Star Wars. This is my #$%$ boot. Read on if you have the time and the stomach for disaster.
“YES, VIRGINIA, OLD ENGLAND DOES EXIST”
World is strange
