YOU RAISE ME UP — MY CARE GIVER
THE FALL
The distance i fell was short….about 3 feet. The consequences have been catastrophic. I hit a marble slab with head and shoulder. Hit hard. broke a bone fragment
that needed to be stabilized b a neck brace. The result was six weeks of near immobility day and night…then a soft brace for another 4 weeks.
But that is not my STORY today.
THE PERSONAL CARE WORKER …P.S.W.
We had short meeting with a hospital administrator in the basemen tof TheTrilium Hospital.
I feared the worst so spoke first
“I do not want to be hospitalised. Put in a hospital bed.I do not want to be here.”
“We do not want you.”
What? Not wanted?’ WE Are sending you home with you wife. We will keep in touch via our outpatient
system. We cannot provide care for those who fall.
“You are luckier than many who falll because you have Your wife. She will look after you as a
Personal Care Worker. It will not be easy. Those living alone have a far harder time.
Our hospital will help but the big load falls on the PCW,s.
MARJORIE SKEOCH’S JOB AS A PCW.
-Dawn to dusk – dusk to dawn – 24 hour day
-dress Alan in morning, feed him, make sure he takes is pills, wash him. feed him with spoon and a straw,
wash his clothes, make the bed, do he dishes, cook for him, wash the dishes, push his walker if necessary,
drive him wherever goes. lift the wheelchair in and out, do the shopping, soothe him, watch him.
Change your life entirely. Forget about playing bridge or visiting friendsl Instead Marjorie has become a personal care worker.
SPECTRUM assigns other PSWs like the young lady from Nigeria who did m y toe nails or the enthusiastic young man who
wanted to give me a full shower with both of us in our 3 x 3 shower room or the woman who pullled down my shorts to wash my bum
or the young swarthy Sikh who just came to talk to me about hockey or the real nurse who wanted to make sure all was
correctly done and I was happy. One cute dancer showed me how to exercise. She couldn’t speak English.
The day we left the hospital for our home Marjorie was surprised by the PSWs already waiting at our house.
OUR HOUSE IS CHANGED
Our son Andrew installed 6 holding bars so I could hold on when moving about. Then he installed a 15 foot railing
from first to second floor before the 16 steps were declared a no go zone. Our bed was moved to the TV room converting
it to our main living space. Rugs were removed. Two chesterfields were bi-sected with a chainsaw and sent the dump.
All four us living in the TV room. Four? Yes, four of us. Woody our dog and Chelsea Bun our feral cat. FOUR.
also part of Marjorie’s duty roster.
what would you do?
I could go on. I will go on.
alan skeoch
may 21, 2025
POST SCRIPT
“YOU RAISE ME UP” lyrics express my feelings best . My personal Care Giver, my wife Marjorie
lifts me up
in the darkness of our bedroom when I feel down and hopeless. LIving day and night with a head brace
fastened with velcro and not to be removed until a broken shard of bone finds a new home somewhere
near my spinal chord. Isn’t that enough to make a person depressed.? When I feel that way Marjorie lifts me up
with her optimism. “You will get better, you always do”
JOHN GROGAN — YOU RAISE ME UP
When I am down and, oh, my soul so weary
When troubles come and my heart burdened be
Then I am still and wait here in the silence
Until you come and sit awhile with me
[Chorus]
You raise me up so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be
[Instrumental Break]
[Chorus]
You raise me up so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be
You raise me up (Up) so I can stand on mountains (Stand on mountains)
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas (Stormy seas)
I am strong (I am strong) when I am on your shoulders (Ooh-ooh)
You raise me up to more than I can be
You raise me up (Up) so I can stand on mountains (Stand on mountains)
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas (Stormy seas)
I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be
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