{"id":77,"date":"2017-10-22T11:04:51","date_gmt":"2017-10-22T15:04:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/skeoch.terraviva.ca\/?p=77"},"modified":"2017-11-13T19:17:11","modified_gmt":"2017-11-14T00:17:11","slug":"before-and-after-the-lizard-got-loose","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=77","title":{"rendered":"Before and After the Lizard Got Loose"},"content":{"rendered":"

THANKS FOR THE WONDERFUL DINNER AND SOCIALISING\u2026YOU MIGHT FIND THIS STORY AMUSING OR HORRIFYING
\nhope I spelled Torgunn’s name right. Excuse typos\u2026my machine does weird things to words.<\/p>\n

BEFORE AND AFTER THE LIZARD GOT LOOSE<\/p>\n

alan skeoch
\noct. 22, 2017<\/p>\n

(You may be surprised where the thread of this story leads you.)<\/p>\n

\u201cAlan, could you and Marjorie come for dinner at Chad\u2019s house on Sunday.\u00a0 Dirk and his kids are coming as well?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat depends\u2026what are we eating. If it\u2019s a lizard then forget about me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think Chad and Torgunn have a big ham\u2026.where did you get the lizard idea?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust popped in my head.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBet you don\u2019t get many dinner invitations.”<\/p>\n

And so Marjorie and I packed up the car and headed for Parkdale, an urban village in the heart of Toronto where space\u2026elbow room\u2026is sometimes difficult.<\/p>\n

Owen’s mother, my aunt Elizabeth had always made my brother and I welcome at their farm where the tractor trails led from field to field and space
\nwas almost infinite.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot what you expected, Alan. The house has been renovated and all the interior walls removed. Lots of space\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

This is my cousin Owen Townsend\u2026a person who has achieved much\u2026and continues to do so.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The dinner was fabulous. Kids and adults kept the conversation at a high pitch. Everything seemed normal until the lizard arrived.<\/p>\n

\"\" \"\" \"\" \"\" \"\" \"\" \"\" \"\"<\/p>\n

What is this thing?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSeems to like you Alan\u2026perched on your dessert fork.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs he here to eat or be eaten?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust a guest. What makes you think the creature is a male?\u201d<\/p>\n

Must gender equity be shoved into every conversation these days. OK, could be a female lizard. No matter why is it here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cKids have pets\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\" \"\" \"\" \"\" \"\" \"\" \"\" \"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cIs anyone interested in the big Marathon?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry, Owen, should have asked. How did you do in the race?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI came in fourth among those who were over 75 years old.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow old are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTurned 80\u2026and still running.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow many runners?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c25,000. The streets of Toronto were closed down. It was wonderful.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou flew all the way from Vancouver just for the race?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes\u2026and see the kids\u2026my sister Eleanor\u2026you and Marjorie\u2026cousin John\u2026more.”<\/p>\n

\"\" \"\"<\/p>\n

Owen Townsend is my cousin. His mother, my aunt Elizabeth, was my Dad\u2019s big sister. She sort of ran the whole clan of Skeochs. We were expected to leave
\nthe confines of the City of Toronto to stay with aunt Elizabeth each summer. She kept a close eye on things. Too close thought her boys Owen and Jim so they designed a trip wire in Sans Souci.<\/p>\n

\u201cSans Souci?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat means \u2018without suspicion\u2019, Alan. Our summer home was that room built above the drive shed. Jim snd I lived there all summer long. You did also
\non your summer visits.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI forgot about the trip wire though\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe loosened one of the steps on the stairs so that anyone coming up would step on the stair snd immediately press a switch that turned
\non the light. A warning system. If Mom was coming up, we knew it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy did you need that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLots of reasons. Your cousin John, for instance slipped us a bottle of Teachers Highland Cream into Sans Souci.\u00a0 Scotch Whisky.\u00a0 If mom found
\nthat there would be hell to pay. She was WCTU\u2026temperance\u2026\u2019lips that touch liquor would never touch hers\u2019. Hence the warning switch.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know what I remember about Sans Souci?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI remember asking you where I was supposed to take a leak if needed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOut the window, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight! Long drop to the ground. Race to get back in bed before the end to the stream reached ground level.”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know what Mom said about you Alan?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSomething good I hope.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe thought you were funny. When you were small and came here for the first time, you refused to drink the milk when you noticed it came
\nfrom the cows\u2026warm right from the udder.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThen you made a comforting discovery\u2026the big milk truck arrived every morning with the milk cans and you announced, \u2018I can drink the milk,
\nit comes every morning from the city..it\u2019s safe snd cold.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cMakes me look stupid. I did not realize that the cans were empty\u2026delivered to be filled each day from the cows. As God is my witness, I thought
\nthe city dairy was delivering milk to the farm.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you not know where milk came from?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNever gave that much thought.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you remember?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI remember that your sister, cousin Elenor, always worked hard on the farm. She seemed to do everything. Milking the cows, cleaning the stable, driving the tractors,
\nStuking the sheaves, forking them into the thresher, toting those huge big of wheat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSelective memory. I worked there as well.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know\u2026did not mean to hurt your feelings\u2026you were one of the boys. Eleanor was a girl. Never expected a girl to do all those things \u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAny other thoughts?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cToo many.<\/p>\n

– Like swimming in the quarry with cousin Roy snd his inner tube, rope snd spill full of beer bottles.<\/p>\n

-Like riding to your Belwood farm as a 12 year old kid jammed in the back of cousin Ernest’s half ton truck with all their furniture. I remember the stares that night
\nsparkling in the cloudless summer sky Ernest stopped on a gravel road to stretch his legs. \u201cYou boys want to stretch?\u201d And when we got
\noff the tail gate, Ernest drove away. We were all alone. He came back laughing with Aylene… all smiles.<\/p>\n

-Like being awakened by your dad in the middle of the night when s local barn bought fire snd they were shooting the
\nanimals trapped in the blaze. The sky was lit up snd cars came from miles sway but noting could be done.<\/p>\n

-Like carving secret tunnels in the sand hill until your Mom discovered us and collapsed the tunnels before wee
\ncould be killed.<\/p>\n

-Like smelling new mown hay.
\nThen working up a sweat pitching hay onto the hay wagon pulled by horses and later by a tractor.<\/p>\n

-Like being told to get in the gqsnsry and push the grain back as the thresher fired the loose grain st my brother and I. The heap
\ngot higher and higher. We thought we weld die in there snd pushed that grain like there ewes no tomorrow.<\/p>\n

-Like coming up here and finding John Calder, Elenor\u2019s husband, shooting his mangled sheep after an attack by local dogs.
\nHe may have shot the dog as well but never said. I think he was crying.<\/p>\n

-Like going the farm after the house fire. John\u2019s handed were burned as he tried to serve what he could by reaching through the shattered windows.
\nI remember him trying to clean the dishes his family brought from Scotland\u2026They were black and broken.<\/p>\n

-I remember him building a saw mill out of a hug pile of neglected machinery. It worked snd we sawed lumber together fro s fee winters. He could
\nbuilt anything.<\/p>\n

-I remember visiting him in the hospital after the dust from pigeons in the barn gave him a serious, nearly fatal lung diseases.<\/p>\n

-I remember playing house with cousin Mary in her playhouse under the big sprucer treed. She served me tea in empty cups snd cookies that did not exist.
\nWe were the same age snd she must have thought we had the same interests. Playing house was not my favourite thing but I played along<\/p>\n

-I remember your dad, Uncle Frank, yelling \u201cTurn him\u2026turn him\u201d as a wild steer thundered towards me in the barn. I was expected to turn
\nthe creature into hid pen. Instread I ran like hell. Your dad was not impressed.<\/p>\n

-I remember counting 34 cats in the stable. Some got a shot of milk in their mouths from Elenor as she worked the milking machines onto the udders<\/p>\n

-I remember that huge tosd that lived in the silo with all that sweet and foul smelling silage.<\/p>\n

\u201cStop, Alan\u2026stop.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI remember lots, Owen\u2026you have triggered those thoughts\u2026.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Above: Owen and Eleanor Townsend, Oct. 22, 2017<\/p>\n

alan skeoch
\nOct. 22, 2017<\/p>\n

Post Script: Notice the lizard on the wall just to the right of Elenor\u2019s head.
\nThat lizard is made of tin. A folk art decoration The lizard on Chad and Torgat’s dinner table on this day, Oct. 22, 2017,
\nwas real. I think we ate ham\u2026BUT I AM NOT SURE.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Did you know that less than 4% of the Canadian population are farmers in 2017?<\/p>\n

In 1921, fifty percent were farmers.<\/p>\n

In 1900, most Canadians farmed.<\/p>\n

We are lucky to live both lives\u2026urban snd rural.<\/p>\n

\u201cCousin Owen could run from our farm in Erin to our base home
\nin Port Credit\u2026he could do it. He came fourth in the Toronto
\nMarathon. Picture Owen on the road below , heading somewhere\u2026”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

THANKS FOR THE WONDERFUL DINNER AND SOCIALISING\u2026YOU MIGHT FIND THIS STORY AMUSING OR HORRIFYING hope I spelled Torgunn’s name right. Excuse typos\u2026my machine does weird things to words. BEFORE AND AFTER THE LIZARD GOT LOOSE alan skeoch oct. 22, 2017 (You may be surprised where the thread of this story leads you.) \u201cAlan, could you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-77","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=77"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":191,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77\/revisions\/191"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=77"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=77"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=77"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}