{"id":6341,"date":"2020-11-05T09:31:56","date_gmt":"2020-11-05T14:31:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=6341"},"modified":"2020-11-05T09:56:10","modified_gmt":"2020-11-05T14:56:10","slug":"episode-158-so-i-decided-to-help-marjorie-and-that-was-a-big-decision","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=6341","title":{"rendered":"EPISODE 158 SO I DECIDED TO HELP MARJORIE…AND THAT WAS A BIG DECISION"},"content":{"rendered":"
EPISODE 158   SO I DECIDED TO HELP MARJORIE\u2026AND THAT WAS A BIG DECISION<\/p>\n

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alan skeoch<\/div>\n
Nov.  2020<\/div>\n

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The newspaper and a cup of coffee take my full attention every morning.  First, I read the lonely hearts<\/div>\n
column.  No particular reason.  Perhaps because the column is on the back page which is easier to <\/div>\n
read than taking all the effort of opening the newspaper and finding the editorial page which always<\/div>\n
features a political cartoon.   After that I may  or may not continue with the paper providing my coffee<\/div>\n
cup is not empty.   If I wait a bit Marjorie will make proper coffee whereas my choice is speedy coffee<\/div>\n
with those little plastic cups<\/div>\n

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Today was different.  I never got beyond the lonely hearts column.  A woman wrote a long letter<\/div>\n
complaining about her husband\u2019s laziness while they are on the Covid 19 lockdown.  She is  at<\/div>\n
the breaking point.  He does noting to help ever since he lost his job due to the virus.  He just <\/div>\n
parks himself in front of the TV all day.  Does nothing.  She vacuums right in front of him.  He doesn\u2019t<\/div>\n
move.  She does the washing… replaces the sheets, finds the used clothing, pushes the button.  He just<\/div>\n
sits there.   She makes the meals, washes the dishes\u2026\u201dhe doesn\u2019t even help to dry a pot.\u201d<\/div>\n

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As I read this litany of complaints I began to think.  Marjorie does the vacuuming, makes the meals, washes<\/div>\n
the dishes, puts the dishes away, does the shopping, <\/div>\n
changes the sheets, washes my socks, \u2026.in short I realized Marjorie does it all.  Me?  I read the<\/div>\n
lonely hearts column and amuse myself with the political cartoon before I spend an hour or two<\/div>\n
writing these Episodes for you\u2026yes, for you lazy creatures who probably have a wife like mine.<\/div>\n
Lucky for us.  Lucky we married multi-taskers.<\/div>\n

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Then I began to feel a bit guilty.  Unusual for me for I am a positive type person.  Marjorie is still<\/div>\n
in bed.  She stayed up until 4 a.m. watching the horror show that never ends in the United States.<\/div>\n
My guilt got over powering.  \u201cI can do something to help, I suppose.  I can put the dishes away<\/div>\n
in the cupboard from the dishwasher.\u201d<\/div>\n

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Which is exactly what I did.  Cups, plates, bowls, even the knives, forks and spoons.  I put them<\/div>\n
away.  Perhaps not as neatly as Marjorie.  Bit of a pain in the ass to sort the cutlery so I just<\/div>\n
piled it in the cutlery drawer. <\/div>\n

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She is still in bed. \u201cWhat about my second cup of coffee?  I will have to make it myself. Yuck!\u201d<\/div>\n

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So, I reached in the cupboard to grab a clean cup and was immediately a bit shocked. The<\/div>\n
clean cup was not clean.  It had a brown coffee stain in the bottom.  I had just replaced it<\/div>\n
from the dishwasher\u2026was the machine broken?  The problem was bigger than I imagined.<\/div>\n
I had taken all the dirty dishes and cutlery out of the dishwasher and put them all away<\/div>\n
in the cupboard.  Let me say this again.  Dirty dishes in the cupboard.  Now I will have <\/div>\n
to take them all out and put them back in the dishwasher.  That is not an easy job.  Double<\/div>\n
the work.<\/div>\n

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What then?  I will have to start the dishwasher.  Push the right button.  What button?<\/div>\n
I am left handed so the buttons confuse me.  Great excuse that I use all the time. I do<\/div>\n
not know how to do the following tasks\u2026do not know which button to push on the washing<\/div>\n
machine, the clothes drying machine, the TV\u2026hell, I do not even know how to start<\/div>\n
the lawn mower.  Feigned ignorance has served me well for sixty years.   <\/div>\n

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When we were first married Marjorie said \u201cstay out of the kitchen, Alan\u201d  and I have <\/div>\n
faithfully followed that command.  Until this morning.  Oh, the labour is too much.<\/div>\n
\u2026the effort, double effort, Putting dishes back in the dishwasher before Marjorie gets up.<\/div>\n

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My sole achievement is putting the little plastic cup in the coffee maker.  Even that<\/div>\n
is a trial because some days the machine needs water.<\/div>\n

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I went back to the newspaper.  \u201cWho wrote that complaint?  Couldn\u2019t be Marjorie\u2026or could  it?\u201d  <\/div>\n
I dared not read the advice section so I turned back to the political <\/div>\n
cartoon and settled myself comfortably in the big chair.<\/div>\n

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\u201cMarjorie, are you awake yet?  You will never guess what I did this morning.\u201d<\/div>\n
She would never guess.<\/div>\n

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alan skeoch<\/div>\n
Nov. 2020<\/div>\n

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That is Woody, our dog, on the front lawn.  On nice days like this I put a lawn<\/div>\n
chair beside him and soak in the sunshine.  Marjorie\u201d?  You cannot see her<\/div>\n
from this angle.  She is down in the ditch mowing the lawn.  Why do I not help?<\/div>\n
I have tried.  She says I do not do a good enough job.  \u201cI may as well do it myself.\u201d<\/div>\n
I am not all bad\u2026bought her the lawn mower after all.<\/div>\n
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Putting that new lawn mower from the big box to the lawn was a lot of effort.  Then I had to figure how to put the wheels<\/div>\n
on.  Marjorie figured that out.<\/div>\n

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\u201cMarjorie, there is no water in the coffee machine.”<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

EPISODE 158   SO I DECIDED TO HELP MARJORIE\u2026AND THAT WAS A BIG DECISION alan skeoch Nov.  2020 The newspaper and a cup of coffee take my full attention every morning.  First, I read the lonely hearts column.  No particular reason.  Perhaps because the column is on the back page which is easier to  read […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6341","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6341","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6341"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6341\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6341"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6341"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6341"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}