{"id":5704,"date":"2020-09-10T13:32:09","date_gmt":"2020-09-10T17:32:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=5704"},"modified":"2020-09-10T13:36:25","modified_gmt":"2020-09-10T17:36:25","slug":"episode-114-nubs-and-crooks-cucumber-contract-disaster","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=5704","title":{"rendered":"EPISODE 114 NUBS AND CROOKS…CUCUMBER CONTRACT DISASTER"},"content":{"rendered":"
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EPISODE 114  NUBS  AND CROOKS\u2026.CUCUMBER CONTRACT DISASTER<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
alan  skeoch<\/div>\n
Sept. 9, 2020<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
This a \u2018nub\u2019.  We grew a  lot of nubs.  A  nub is  worthless.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Bob Root said  that farmers have to take risks all the time.  Sometimes the risks pay off but<\/div>\n
a lot of times the risks do not.   Years ago Marjorie, my brother Eric and  I decided  to get<\/div>\n
into real farming by raising cucumbers  for the Matthews Wells pickle factory in Guelph, Ontario.<\/div>\n
Their pickles were sold under the Rose Brand label.  Many of  my readers must have  eaten<\/div>\n
these pickles  at some point.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
How  did  we get into the business?  My cousin Ted Freeman,  was at the<\/div>\n
time in charge of  contracting farmers to grow cucumbers.  His mom and  dad, Frank and Lucinda<\/div>\n
Freeman got a contract and we decided to give it a go  as well.  <\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Now just imagine that we were real farmers who needed  a source of income just to pay<\/div>\n
the property taxes or to cover fertilizer costs or maybe just to pay off debtors who were<\/div>\n
hounding  us.  Just imagine we needed the job.  (Forget the fact that Marjorie, Eric<\/div>\n
and I had other jobs that paid our bills.   Imagine we were real young farmers trying<\/div>\n
to make a  living.)<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\u201cNow  Alan, our pickle company really want gherkins\u2026the  smallest cucumbers, maybe<\/div>\n
2 to 3 inches long.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cHow will we be paid?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cAT the end of the summer, maybe October, we will calculate what we owne you after  we<\/div>\n
have measured and weighed you production.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cYou mean we put up the front end money?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cNot entirely, Matthews Wells will give you the cucumber seeds.  After that it is  up<\/div>\n
to you.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cHow do  our cucumbers get to the factory?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cOnce a  week a truck will pick up your produce as  long as the sacks are<\/div>\n
placed at the corner  of the fifth line and #5 sidereal with your name.\u201d<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\u201cAnd Alan do not send any nubs, crooks or oversized.  They are  worth nothing.\u201d<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\u201cThree questions, Ted,  what is a nub?  What is a Crook?  How  big is an oversized cucumber?\u201d<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\u201cIs that a  joke, Alan?\u201d<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
It was  not a joke but I never told Ted.  Instead we got ready for our adventure  in real farming.<\/div>\n
We bought a rather decrepit Farmal  A tractor for $400.   First big expense.  Then  we hired  George<\/div>\n
Johnson to plow up our cucumber field.  He did a great job.  Unfortunately we did  not think  of<\/div>\n
harrowing the upturned sod.   So our field was a little bumpy.  Then we got the seed bed  ready  by<\/div>\n
hooking a single furrow plow to the tractor.  Dad was helpful although he thought we were goddamned<\/div>\n
fools.   <\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
The land  was good.   Nothing had been growing here but twitch grass and timothy for more than two <\/div>\n
decades.  The soil was ready for cucumbers… to fight the bad weed seeds versus good seeds war.  We helped  by<\/div>\n
weeding.  In no time at all  the cucumber vines were stretching like long garter snakes through<\/div>\n
the field.   <\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Up the road,  at Uncle Frank and Aunt Lucida\u2019s farm the cucumber  field was clean as a whistle.<\/div>\n
A whole  bunch of school kids  were hired to pick  cucumbers every day.  \u201cGet the gherkins!\u201d<\/div>\n
I think my uncle and aunt were amused in a kindly way.  \u201cCity people will learn something<\/div>\n
about farming this summer.\u201d   They sacked their production\u2026gherkins mostly<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
We did  have some  gherkins but they were darn hard to find.  We sacked everything<\/div>\n
in the mistaken belief that even the lowliest cucumber was worth something.  So we<\/div>\n
bagged up quite a few of our specials\u2026nubs, crooks and oversized.  Wow, we raced<\/div>\n
through the field picking whatever we  could.  The cucumbers outraced us.   <\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Our sacked production looked good.   But turned out to be nearly worthless.  <\/div>\n
\u201cAlan, those nubs and crooks just go to the dump\u2026along with the oversized.\u201d<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
This  is a NUB.   WORTHLESS<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
This is an oversized cucumber.  WORTHLESS<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
These are Crooks.  WORTHLESS<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Then we got a letter from Matthews Wells.   it ran something like this.  \u201cDear<\/div>\n
Grower,  this has been a bumper year for cucumber growth.  More cucumbers<\/div>\n
than we can handle.  Only need gherkins but even ghekins are oversupplied<\/div>\n
so we have to cut the price paid to growers.\u201d<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\u201cLook at this!  The  company has  cut the price in the middle of the season.<\/div>\n
How could they do this?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s  the nature of  farming.  Prices fluctuate.   You never know  what you<\/div>\n
will be paid  until the end of the season\u2026same for grain, green beans, water melons,<\/div>\n
cattle, sheep or hogs.  The only farmers that get a guaranteed price for their production<\/div>\n
are the dairy farmers.\u201d<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\u201cBut we have put a lot of money into this cucumber  field.  We bought a tractor,<\/div>\n
a plow, some sacks, fertilizer, and that old wood wheeled buggy to drag  the sacks<\/div>\n
up the road.   Then there is our labour.  Surely our work is worth something.\u201d<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\u201cWe\u2019ll just have to wait and see\u2026come October we will know.  That is when<\/div>\n
the checks  are sent out.:<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
YES\u2026 and sure as God has made little green apples, a check was sent<\/div>\n
to us.   I think it was for $35.00.   I think the price of seed was taken off at the <\/div>\n
end of season.  Take price of seed  off this  check.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Three people, tractor, wagon buggy, sacks, fertilizer, land, \u2026 front end costs<\/div>\n
were about 20  times the final  payment.  <\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
A lesson learned and  never forgotten.  I am  sure our uncle and aunt were<\/div>\n
amused\u2026gently amused\u2026.not viciously amused.  They had also had their contract<\/div>\n
reduced.  I am  not sure  if even they made a profit.  I  know it was the last<\/div>\n
year any of  us  grew cucumbers.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Cousin Ted will correct this account.  He was embarrassed by our failure for<\/div>\n
it reflected on him I imagine.   We  were a  joke and even laughed at ourselves.<\/div>\n
Ted went on to build his own successful business.  He got out of the pickle  game.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
alan skeoch<\/div>\n
Sept. 9,2020<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Springtime nearly here in our cucumber year  This is our transport system.  The wood wheeled Democrat hooked<\/div>\n
to our lovely Formal A garden tractor..  In the background id a barn i was building atop our old barn foundation.<\/div>\n
I hope you love the skill being applied.  The barn collapsed eventually.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
This is  my cousin Ted Freeman  (right) and Eric  Skeoch .. handshake had meaning.   Ted took us through the pickle factory<\/div>\n
before we signed the contract.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Dad and  I \u2026 picture  taken a little earlier when I was still in high school.  Dad<\/div>\n
did not carry that stick to give me a rap on the ass.  He spent most of his time<\/div>\n
laughing at our ignorance about farming.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
P.S.  Perhaps  I should not write this postscript.  Eric got married that summer and<\/div>\n
asked me to be best man.  I took a sack of our nubs, crooks and oversized to the<\/div>\n
wedding feast at the Old Mill in Toronto.  Some people were offended.  I think<\/div>\n
I know why now\u2026but did not at the time.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
P.P.S.  Worse happened.   I loved our little Farmal A tractor.  When winter<\/div>\n
came I tucked it in the cedar hedge beside the back house.  When spring<\/div>\n
came I discovered the block had cracked.  No one ever told me that<\/div>\n
the tractor had no anti freeze.  I nearly cried.  The final blow as it were.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

This is  a picture of a nub and an oversized cucumber.  And also  a picture of a very stupid  farmer.  <\/div>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

EPISODE 114  NUBS  AND CROOKS\u2026.CUCUMBER CONTRACT DISASTER alan  skeoch Sept. 9, 2020 This a \u2018nub\u2019.  We grew a  lot of nubs.  A  nub is  worthless. Bob Root said  that farmers have to take risks all the time.  Sometimes the risks pay off but a lot of times the risks do not.   Years ago Marjorie, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5704","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5704","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5704"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5704\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5704"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5704"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5704"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}