{"id":5471,"date":"2020-08-09T21:39:55","date_gmt":"2020-08-10T01:39:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=5471"},"modified":"2020-08-09T21:43:48","modified_gmt":"2020-08-10T01:43:48","slug":"episode-91-touching-kids-is-a-good-way-to-lose-your-job","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=5471","title":{"rendered":"EPISODE 91 TOUCHING KIDS IS A GOOD WAY TO LOSE YOUR JOB."},"content":{"rendered":"
EPISODE 91     TOUCHING  KIDS IS A GOOD WAY TO LOSE  YOUR JOB<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
alan skeoch\u2019<\/div>\n
August 10, 2020<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Marjorie and  I at a  dance around 1961.  Before becoming a teacher.  We  are touching hands.  In 1951 we did not know<\/div>\n
that such touching could  be dangerous.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Marjorie, Kevin, Pete (the dog) around 1970<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
CAUTION \u2026THIS  STORY IS HARD TO BELIEVE\u2026EVEN  BY ME.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
My profs at U. of T. faculty of  education\u2026John Ricker and Andy Lockhart<\/div>\n
 both cautioned us about touching.  Yes, \u2018Touching’.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\u201cIf  you want to lose your job just try hugging too many female students\u2026one of<\/div>\n
them might report you saying, \u201cHe touched  me!\u201d <\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
” Whether true or not\u2026whether<\/div>\n
entirely non sexual  or not\u2026That does not matter, you<\/div>\n
will suffer some  terrible consequences.  Maybe lose your job even if the touching<\/div>\n
was innocent or entirely fanciful\u2026entirely in the mind of a  teen-age girl.  Be careful.\u201d<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\u201cHow can I be careful\u2026half of the students I will teach will <\/div>\n
be teen-age girls.  And I would like the students to like me\u2026would like<\/div>\n
them to say \u201cSkeoch is a good teacher\u2026I like his classes\u2026I like him.\u201d<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\u201cUnderstood. The  best way to stay out of trouble  is to never ever be alone<\/div>\n
with a female student.  No touching.  No patting on the back.  No hug of<\/div>\n
consolation in event a family tragedy.  Be careful.\u201d<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
The result was that I knew about \u2018social distancing\u2019 decades before this<\/div>\n
current pandemic.   I kept my distance.   Most kids liked that distancing<\/div>\n
anyway.  They called me \u2018sir\u2019 which has a distancing effect.  That is good.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Kids can  love a male teacher without smothering him in hugs and kisses.  To  most<\/div>\n
kids their teachers are old people even if the age gap is barely four years.<\/div>\n
There is safety in that age gap.  A gap reinforced by the use of \u2018sir\u2019 as a<\/div>\n
term of respect as well as social distancing.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
WHERE AM I GOING WITH THIS STORY?<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Most of the  kids I taught liked me.  I  could tell by their<\/div>\n
smiles and the occasional tap on the shoulder by the boys.<\/div>\n
Not all were admirers.  I remember one girl told me to \u201cFuck<\/div>\n
Off\u201d in class.   Sort of a shock. I asked why after class..<\/div>\n
\u201cYou were standing on my foot.\u201d<\/div>\n
True. I thought that was amusing.  \u201cStand up  when you answer.\u201d<\/div>\n
But she could  not stand up because I had committed the cardinal sin<\/div>\n
of touching by standing on her  foot.  She could not stand up.  Stupid<\/div>\n
but most kids thought it was funny.   She did not.<\/div>\n
I apologized and we got along well after that.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
In my  first year of teaching one young Grade 9 girl really scared me.<\/div>\n
She  was a nice person.  Quiet. Scared of high school I thought.  So I<\/div>\n
was  nice to her.  Big smlle. I made a point of greeting  her just to allay<\/div>\n
her fears.   <\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Wrong thing to do!<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
We  lived on Westminster Avenue which was a  nice walk from<\/div>\n
Parkdale Collegiate. Interesting stores on Roncesvales and Queen Street West.<\/div>\n
The student met me  by accident and walked home with me several times.<\/div>\n
Too many times to be  accidental.   Got me  really alarmed.  I should  not<\/div>\n
be  seen  walking home with a female student.  No touching involved.  But imagination<\/div>\n
of anyone who noticed might jump to dangerous conclusions.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
So I began to fear walking home.    A grown  man afraid of a lonely<\/div>\n
little Grade Nine girl.   Seems ridiculous to others but not to me.  I tried<\/div>\n
slow walking and pauses at store display windows.  I tried fast walking like Olympic<\/div>\n
walkers.  She was there whether fast or slow  This happened too often<\/div>\n
to be accidental.  Let\u2019s say she caught up to me five  or six times.   Enough<\/div>\n
to raise alarm bells in my mind.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
I shared my  concern with other male teachers. Just keeping<\/div>\n
people informed was some  protection.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\u201cHow can I avoid the student without breaking her heart?\u201d<\/div>\n
(She was fragile\u2026I feared hurting her.   What was really wrong<\/div>\n
with a student liking her teacher?}<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\u201cWhat can I do?\u201d<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\u201cDid you ever try walking on the south side of Queen Street.  Away<\/div>\n
from the crowds on the sunny storefront side?\u201d<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\u201cHow would that help?\u201d<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\u201cYou could spot her and take evasive acton.\u201d<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
That evening I took evasive action.  South side of Queen St.  Not so<\/div>\n
many stores but enough for me to look for reflections.<\/div>\n
Was she there?  Sure.  There she was paralleling me.  Knowing that<\/div>\n
i would  have to cross to the North side once I reached  Roncesvales (the <\/div>\n
North South street that led to our home.   <\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
I lingered.  Watched the reflection.  Watched her pause.  Then a  funny thing<\/div>\n
happened.  Instead  of looking at the reflection I looked at the goods the <\/div>\n
store had for sale.  Women\u2019s lingerie.., Brassieres etc. Bizarre.  Rather embarrassing.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Then the situation became even more bizarre.  i decided to make a run for<\/div>\n
the Roncesvales street car\u2026zipping briefly on the north side  of Queen then<\/div>\n
running  and  jumping aboard the street car.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Where was she?   She was right behind  me.  Jumping aboard<\/div>\n
at the same time.  <\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\u201cHello, sir.\u201d<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
The weirdest thing then happened.   Her mother was on the street car<\/div>\n
close to the front doors.  I knew her from parents’  night.  We talked\u2026small<\/div>\n
talk.  But that was the end of the accidental meetings.  I think her mom<\/div>\n
intervened.   After that event I could walk home without worry of a female student escort.<\/div>\n
Too incredible to believe?   I know it seems so.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Was the situation completely finished?   Nope.  A couple of weeks later one<\/div>\n
evening when I was coaching football  at the Exhibition grounds the young<\/div>\n
girl stopped  by  our house and asked Marjorie if  she wanted to <\/div>\n
buy a bunch  of pictures of me that she  had taken secretly.  Marjorie<\/div>\n
did not buy the pictures of me walking  home.  We were amused but<\/div>\n
a bit disturbed at the same time.  The tracking  soon ended.  The student<\/div>\n
got older\u2026forget about me\u2026got on with her life.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Last I heard the young girl was married with three children of her own.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
alan skeoch<\/div>\n
August 2020<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
P.S.  I made it a  practice to never  be alone in my room with<\/div>\n
a female student.  It was  a good decision.  Perhaps I might<\/div>\n
be brave enough someday  to tell the story of a student teacher I was<\/div>\n
assigned  later in my career.  She tried to talk with me alone.<\/div>\n
I was  too wise for that.  I failed her.  She was a terrible teacher.<\/div>\n
Another person she  caught alone with her faced a rape insinuation.<\/div>\n
Her parting comment?  \u201cI will kill you.\u201d  Marjorie and I stayed<\/div>\n
home that week end.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
P.P.S.  Hard to believe?  You bet.  Even I find these stories<\/div>\n
hard to believe.  Teachers are treated as guilty until proven<\/div>\n
innocent.  The exact opposite of our criminal justice system.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

EPISODE 91     TOUCHING  KIDS IS A GOOD WAY TO LOSE  YOUR JOB alan skeoch\u2019 August 10, 2020 Marjorie and  I at a  dance around 1961.  Before becoming a teacher.  We  are touching hands.  In 1951 we did not know that such touching could  be dangerous. Marjorie, Kevin, Pete (the dog) around 1970 CAUTION […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5471","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5471","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5471"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5471\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5471"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5471"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5471"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}