{"id":452,"date":"2018-01-20T17:09:30","date_gmt":"2018-01-20T22:09:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=452"},"modified":"2018-02-17T22:04:06","modified_gmt":"2018-02-18T03:04:06","slug":"fwd-mom-bound-our-family-together","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=452","title":{"rendered":"MOM BOUND OUR FAMILY TOGETHER"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n\n\n\n
Subject:<\/th>\nMOM BOUND OUR FAMILY TOGETHER<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Date:<\/th>\nSat, 20 Jan 2018 19:20:19 -0500<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
From:<\/th>\nAlan Skeoch<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
To:<\/th>\nMarjorie Skeoch<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

MOM BOUND OUR FAMILY TOGETHER
\n<\/span>(I regret I never told her so)<\/p>\n

alan skeoch<\/div>\n
jan. 2018<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

Mom held \u00a0our family together. \u00a0If Dad \u00a0had been a single parent then Eric \u00a0and I would probably have been raised by Aunt Elizabeth or put in foster homes.\u00a0 Not because Dad was a bad \u00a0man. He wasn\u2019t. \u00a0He was \u00a0a legend in his own time. Charismatic in a twisted \u00a0way. \u00a0He just could not resist trying to grab the golden ring of the racetrack Merry Go Rounds.<\/p>\n

After my latest story about Dad \u00a0I got several calls \u00a0and emails from friends who were horrified. \u00a0What we thought was normal was not normal I guess.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
So how did our family function. \u00a0Like the First Nations people, our family was matrilineal. \u00a0Mom ran the show and did most of the tasks. \u00a0She cooked, washed, dressed and \u00a0educated \u00a0us. \u00a0 Eric and I spent 90% of our time with mom when we were small.\u00a0 Like most kids, we took her for granted. \u00a0No hugs\u2026no kisses\u2026just the expectation that somehow she would put food on the table and make us clothes that would fit.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Else \u00a0Louise \u00a0Freeman was born in 1901 , the daughter of \u00a0Edward \u00a0Freeman and \u00a0Louise button. For several years Edward was the head gardener of the Eywood \u00a0Estate in Herefordshire. \u00a0The whole gentry large estate structure was beginning to crumble although that was \u00a0not the reason the Freeman\u2019s migrated to Canada. \u00a0They were, like most \u00a0Canadians, economic migrants seeking an escape from the bowing and \u00a0scraping necessary to maintain the British class system. \u00a0It was \u00a0a tough period in Canada\u2026burned \u00a0out of their home in Krugerdorf, Northern Ontario, they ended up on a 25 acre hardscrabble farm on top of the Niagara \u00a0Escarpment. \u00a0Elsie \u00a0could not stay there so she, \u00a0along with thousands \u00a0of other farm progeny in the \u00a01920\u2019s, moved to the big city where the electric sewing machine was changing the garment industry by producing cheap clothes.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Elsie\u2019s trip to town to catch the train was dramatic. \u00a0Their horse died en route and a spare horse had to be borrowed while the \u00a0dead horse was skinned. \u00a0 Tannery would pay. Waste not, want not. No going back. \u00a0Elsie was among throngs \u00a0of young women made independent by the \u00a0industrial changes \u00a0made possible by that wonder of wonders called electricity and the internal combustion engine. \u00a0Lots of men around as well. \u00a0In Toronto she met Red Skeoch, also a farm migrant, and a ten year romantic \u00a0affair began.\u00a0 Depression years. She was cautioned about marriage but in 1937 they married in the Freeman farm house.\u00a0 Red\u2019s brothers got her trousseau suitcases, jumped out the \u00a0clothes and filled \u00a0the case with beets, pumpkins \u00a0and whatever else they could find. \u00a0In \u00a01938, I was born and in 1940 Eric came along.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Elsie had to work and raise kids at the same time.\u00a0 Sweatshop needle trades. Slave labour really. \u00a0When we \u00a0were small she lugged huge boxes of garment pieces home from the Spadina factories that used the putting out system. They used sweatshop tactics \u00a0but had no sweatshops.\u00a0 I can remember mom sitting for hours at her Singer Electric sewing machine running seams up and down dresses for Eaton’s catalogue sales.\u00a0 She also assembled \u00a0girdles…\u00a0 \u00a0 mystery pieces of clothing. \u00a0Some kind of elasticized vests that had \u00a0clips dangling down where the legs \u00a0would go?<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
When we \u00a0got bigger mom began working in small garment factories across west Toronto. \u00a0She worked with women who were independent. \u00a0Our house seemed filled with females much to Dad\u2019s chagrin at times. \u00a0Women that had become masters of their own destinies. \u00a0Except for some new Canadian seamstresses who were exploited. \u00a0Denied holiday pay for instance. \u00a0Mom alerted \u00a0these \u00a0girls and ladies. Their employers, surprisingly, were often people of their own \u00a0ethnic background. \u00a0Did \u00a0she get fired? \u00a0No memory of that but she moved around from sweatshop to sweatshop.\u00a0 \u00a0Until finally, when we were in high school, she became sewing teacher for the Singer Sewing Machine company.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
In University I noted that the Russian secret police , the NKVD, used the Singer Sewing Machine building in Moscow as their headquarters. \u00a0A socialist takeover of a capitalist company. \u00a0Good show!\u00a0 \u00a0The Singer company was not<\/div>\n
loved by me. \u00a0Why? \u00a0Because mom had to lie about her age to keep her job. Anyone \u00a0getting \u00a0close \u00a0to retirement age \u00a0seemed to be \u2018let go\u2019 so mom, when she was 60 pretended \u00a0she was in her late 40\u2019s. \u00a0She could do that without batting an eye.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
And she loved a good time. \u00a0 Laughter\u2026never tears. \u00a0One day, when we were almost men, \u00a0someone \u00a0brought a copy of Playboy.\u00a0 \u00a0 By then we were in second or third year university because Marjorie was present. \u00a0 Other mothers would find such a \u00a0skin book offensive. \u00a0Not mom\u2026not Marjorie\u2026and certainly not Eric.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
One event did not \u00a0make her laugh\u2026made her scream actually. \u00a0Today I am aware we were insensitive. \u00a0Smart asses. \u00a0Eric and I played \u00a0on the same<\/div>\n
football team \u00a0at high school and came home \u00a0from one game to mom\u2019s cheerful,<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cHow did the game go boys?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
As it happened our friend Russ Vanstone backed his Chev over Eric\u2019s football helmet\u2026smashed like \u00a0a grape. \u00a0Mom was at the top of the stairs. \u00a0 Eric was on the verandah.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cBit of trouble mom, Eric got hurt.\u201d \u00a0And \u00a0I threw the splintered helmet up the \u00a0stairs. \u00a0Mom screamed. \u00a0That was \u00a0not as funny as \u00a0it seemed \u00a0to us.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Mom\u2019s name \u00a0was Elsie, daughter of English – Welsh \u00a0parentage. \u00a0Dad \u00a0called her Methooz\u2026short form for Methusalum which is a corruption of Methusela who was \u00a0the oldest person in the Bible. \u00a0 Dad \u00a0always wanted to remind \u00a0mom that she was a year older than him. \u00a0 So we often \u00a0picked up on that and called her \u00a0Methooz as well. \u00a0She \u00a0didn\u2019t seem \u00a0to mind. Most of the time she \u00a0was Mom.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Regrets? \u00a0Lots \u00a0of them. \u00a0 As \u00a0I said \u00a0we \u00a0took her for granted. \u00a0Gifts? \u00a0Did we give her something for Christmas… I don\u2019t remember doing much. \u00a0Each Christmas \u00a0for years \u00a0we would go to the TTC lost goods auction and buy a big \u201cMystery Box\u201d full of gloves, umbrellas, purses, shirts, hats, etc. \u00a0That was sort of a communal Christmas gift.\u00a0 Lots of fun. \u00a0Those boxes were so big that one person could \u00a0barely carry them. \u00a0But we never really rewarded\u00a0 mom for all her work.<\/div>\n
One \u00a0time\u2026only one time\u2026she said \u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s my birthday and no one has paid any attention.\u201d \u00a0Eric and I felt really bad \u00a0and \u00a0pooled our money to buy her<\/div>\n
a new lamp to sit beside the couch where she slept. \u00a0Our house had one bedroom used by Eric and I at night and by dad in the day when he<\/div>\n
was on night shift at the Dunlop factory. \u00a0So mom had a couch in the living room. A three room house\u2026.upper floor. \u00a0 Seemed normal to us. \u00a0I \u00a0remember catching mom and dad together on that couch once.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
As I said earlier, Dad \u00a0was eccentric\u2026different\u2026a loveable thief. \u00a0But he had values. \u00a0He would never \u00a0let us say anything critical about mom.\u00a0 One time<\/div>\n
I said some thoughtless thing and he looked at me overtop the racing form and said, \u201cDon\u2019t you ever say that again..\u201d \u00a0 Dad knew he was damn lucky<\/div>\n
to have her as a wife. \u00a0And we knew we were damn lucky to have \u00a0her as a mother. \u00a0None of us ever told her that. \u00a0But she knew. \u00a0She \u00a0knew.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
How did we ever get to university? \u00a0Now that is amazing. \u00a0We lived \u00a0at home. \u00a0 Mom fed us and clothed us and did our \u00a0washing\u2026did everything. We had<\/div>\n
very little money but managed to earn enough at summer jobs to finance the fees. I worked summers \u2018in the bush\u2019 doing geophysical \u00a0work. \u00a0Salary was banked automatically. \u00a0My first year was a near disaster because \u00a0my bank account was empty when I got back \u00a0from Chibougamau in Northern \u00a0Quebec.<\/div>\n
I was paid \u00a0$150 a month by \u00a0Geo Tech Geophysical \u00a0Exploration Company\u2026three months \u00a0totalled $450. \u00a0Fees \u00a0were $400. \u00a0 I was secure.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cAlan, we cannot process this check to the University of Toronto?\u201d \u00a0said the bank manager who we knew well.<\/div>\n
\u201cWhy not, the money has \u00a0been deposited automatically?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cThe account is empty.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cCouldn\u2019t be.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cwithdrawals \u00a0have been \u00a0made during the summer.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u2018Can I see the signatures.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cyes\u2026look here.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Both the manager and \u00a0I knew what had \u00a0happened. \u00a0Dad \u00a0needed money for the horses and he could be a smooth talker. \u00a0Charismatic at times. \u00a0Indignant at others. \u00a0When \u00a0he was \u00a0indignant, \u00a0we knew he had \u00a0done something shady. \u00a0 Was I mad? \u00a0Of course but not in a fever kind of mad. \u00a0 Had to think of some way to pay the fees \u00a0and appealed \u00a0to the Atkinson Foundation who gave me \u00a0a $400 \u00a0grant. \u00a0Eric and I had been Toronto Star paperboys for years. \u00a0That may have \u00a0helped. \u00a0Bottom \u00a0line was that we knew mom\u2019s money was stretched to the limit. She would care for us but we had to pay our fees. \u00a0Dad just was not<\/div>\n
dependable that way. In other ways \u00a0he \u00a0was great. \u00a0Just going to the racetracks with him was \u00a0a regular family adventure \u00a0(of \u00a0with I will write later). And \u00a0POW… if we \u00a0were ever threatened. Take my word \u00a0for it\u2026we enjoyed our family. \u00a0Bonded.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
What did we eat? \u00a0Mom liked to get head cheese at Hunt\u2019s delicatessen. Tasted fine \u00a0until I realized as an adult what we had \u00a0been eating. \u00a0I liked the word cheese \u00a0and conveniently ignored the word \u00a0\u2018head\u2019. Same applied to pork hocks\u2026I tried \u00a0to ignore \u00a0those little feet at the end \u00a0of the hock. \u00a0She \u00a0also made a \u00a0good \u00a0steak and kidney \u00a0pie\u2026lots of kidneys. \u00a0Never thought about that either. And she did down dozens of bottles of two terrific things\u2026chili sauce \u00a0and rhubarb both of which were great on toast. \u00a0Never \u00a0had such a taste.\u00a0 Lots of rolled oats\u2026love a bowl of those oats with milk\u2026raw\u2026sprinkled with brown sugar. We lived about the same as our friends.\u00a0 \u00a0Pork and beans\u2026Kraft dinner\u2026jello with stale cake inside\u2026And there was a dairy on Annette Street that made huge milkshakes for quarter.\u00a0 So cold that one shake \u00a0gave me a headache. \u00a0We slipped \u00a0in there often.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
In high school , mom even managed to make a \u00a0brown bag lunch \u00a0for us each day. \u00a0One time I \u00a0grabbed the wrong \u00a0brown bag and got her Modess pads instead. \u00a0 That brought an uproar at the Humberside lunch table.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I do not have the nerve to tell you how Eric and \u00a0I dissuaded mom from joining the the Humberside Parent Teachers Association. \u00a0To us, it was funny.\u00a0 I \u00a0fear readers like you will fail those the humour.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Enough?<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
More will come\u2026just wanted \u00a0any readers to know how \u00a0much Eric and \u00a0I are indebted to mom.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
alan skeoch<\/div>\n
Jan 2018<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Subject: MOM BOUND OUR FAMILY TOGETHER Date: Sat, 20 Jan 2018 19:20:19 -0500 From: Alan Skeoch To: Marjorie Skeoch MOM BOUND OUR FAMILY TOGETHER (I regret I never told her so) alan skeoch jan. 2018 Mom held \u00a0our family together. \u00a0If Dad \u00a0had been a single parent then Eric \u00a0and I would probably have been […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-452","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/452","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=452"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/452\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":529,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/452\/revisions\/529"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=452"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=452"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=452"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}