{"id":334,"date":"2017-12-21T14:25:35","date_gmt":"2017-12-21T19:25:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=334"},"modified":"2018-02-19T16:41:37","modified_gmt":"2018-02-19T21:41:37","slug":"skeoch","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=334","title":{"rendered":"END OF TOUR: DISASTER AND THE BOOT!"},"content":{"rendered":"
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<\/div>\n
No, I have not joined Star Wars. \u00a0This is my #$%$ boot. \u00a0Read on if you have the time and the stomach for disaster.<\/div>\n
\n

<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

I doubt anyone is really interested but this is where my tour of England ENDED in Dec. 2017. \u00a0 Some may think it was the beer. \u00a0Not so. \u00a0My pictures of pub visits are exaggerated \u00a0 But I did like the one pub visited. \u00a0Sad\u2026just one pub. \u00a0Then things went off the tracks in front of the showroom car below. (pic 5, before blood on floor)<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Gabriela was buying a used car in Sheffield.. \u00a0Very modern showroom that had two hidden steps that I did not see. \u00a0Ended up spread eagled on the tiled floor in front of that white car. \u00a0No one heard me take the dive. \u00a0Hit with my head so thought I would be fine. \u00a0Glasses bent\u2026a little blood trickling down. \u00a0But I could not get up. \u00a0Left leg would not do what was expected of it.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Salesmen arrived. \u00a0Really worried as they wondered who I was and how I got there. \u201cDon\u2019t move, we\u2019ll can an ambulance.\u201d \u00a0\u201c<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
What? \u00a0Forget that idea\u2026lift me up.\u201d \u00a0Sat in a showroom chair until they found Kevin who was\u00a0some distance away in another showroom. \u00a0From there we managed to get back to London\u2026about four hours. \u00a0I figured leg would get better. \u00a0Not so. \u00a0Next day Gab found a private hospital\u2026i.e. not part of English health care. \u00a0Diagnosis was later confirmed as torn Achilles tendon. \u00a0So now I have this goddamn boot to wear for six weeks (or longer\u2026yuck!). \u00a0Going nowhere so will<\/div>\n
occupy my time with stories. \u00a0Some slightly exaggerated. \u00a0I like the make stories better than they really were. \u00a0Just a personal character flaw.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Private health care was great by the way. \u00a0Doctor took me right away then an orthopaedic socialist, whups, I mean specialist arrived, hardly a socialist if private health care\u2026then a rugger player came with this huge boot which feels like a cement\u00a0block on my left leg\u2026then sent me to a sound machine which must be some kind of X ray thing which confirmed everything. \u00a0\u201cTear is serious\u2026but not completely severed\u2026hence the boot.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cFeels like a cement block, how does that help? \u00a0Are you trying to rip the tendon completely? Sadists.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cNo. \u00a0Your tendon will be allowed to mesh.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cDid you say mesh or mash?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cBest to be quiet, sir. \u00a0 Did you have a head injury as well?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cNo, I hit first with my head\u2026drove glasses into my eyelash. Lucky.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cLucky?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cHead is like a block of wood\u2026dense\u2026useless\u2026\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cSir, would you be serious. \u00a0Who are all these people with you?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cWell, first off\u2026the woman with the horse manure on her boots is Gabriela. \u00a0She found this place. \u00a0She \u00a0spends a lots of time mucking out horse stalls. \u00a0Loves the smell of ‘horse manure in the morning\u2019 if I might use a slightly changed quote from the movie Apocalypse Now. The other woman carrying my clothes and holding the money is my wife Marjorie who you do not want to cross. \u00a0She is my bodyguard. \u00a0The guy in the black outfit is our son Kevin who just got off a Spanish show horse yesterday. \u00a0A war horse, sir. He is a rider (as long as the more is tethered and runs in circles.). \u00a0And finally there is Morgan, one of our Grandkids who acts as aid de camp to Marjorie and therefore is a person to be treated with caution.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cPatients do not come here often with a private army.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cDo I have to pay for everyone?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cBest we concentrate on the leg, sir. \u00a0You will be out of combat for the next six weeks.\u00a0 The boot is better than a leg cast.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cAnd the price? \u00a0We are just country folk as you can tell by the road apple stuff on Gabriela\u2019s boots.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cPrice is the same, sir\u2026Three of us are doctors. \u00a0You are getting the best care\u00a0possible. \u00a0No waiting\u2026an orthopaedic specislist, a radiologist, a GP. \u00a0We will do all this in just a couple of hours. \u00a0Glad you are so cheerful.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Crying on the inside, doctor.\u2019<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cI am the skip of a very important Canadian curling team. Depend on my firm leadership and sterling example of sportsmanship. \u00a0Lucky I have back up. \u00a0My vice skip, Monica, will have to take over for month of January. \u00a0Hope she is willing. \u00a0I have the only female dominated team. \u00a0The other teams of men are scared shitless of us which is good. \u00a0But I wish I was mobile. \u00a0Crying on the inside as I said.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cSir, let me tell you about your injury\u2026stop horsing around.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cCan Gabriela wash her boots in that sink over there?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cSir, often our patients do not speak English.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cWhy tell me that?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cI wish you were one of those patients, Alan.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cHey\u2026you are using my first name. \u00a0Are we becoming friends?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cSeems so. \u00a0Should I expect a visit from the curling team?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cDirk and Shaymus are my leads. \u00a0Don\u2019t let the name Dirk scare you\u2026knife! Get it?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cAnd?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cthen there is Shaymus\u2026Irish\/English stock\u2026knows all the tricks of the toffs over here in Britain. \u00a0Would you call yourself a toff?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cYour leg, Alan, be careful but norm\u2026..\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cThen there is Leslie, our second, who has at times a houseful of stray dogs. \u00a0Additional protection if need. \u00a0Then Sharon, our spare, who will be helping Marjorie carry me into the rink to watch the games. \u00a0Like a royal guest. On a stuffed chair with garlands and flags\u2026and a flagon of mead.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cSir, you can leave now.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cThe bill?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cTotal comes to 780 pounds\u2026see the cashier\u2026\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cA thousand dollars. \u00a0fine\u2026hope Visa works.\u201d \u00a0(I expected a lot higher so was relieved)<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cMarjorie, I was scared it would be more\u2026three doctors (all thin and in their prime), one therapist (rugger player), one go at the sound machine, one big non \u00a0returnable boot, two socks, four cups of coffee (two Late), and then Tristran the nurse with all the tattoos who helped me off and on with the boot.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cOh, by the way, Alan, be sure and leave the boot on in bed at night\u2026you are the kind of guy<\/div>\n
that tosses around\u2026could worsen things\u2026wear it at all times.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cHow do you know I toss around?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cAnybody that talks as much as you probably has vivid dreams of race horses and such. \u00a0Wear the boot.:<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
“Like a goddamn cement block already.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cWear the boot, Alan, stop being amusing.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201c Not amusing, did you miss the word goddamn.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cLet me shake your hand, Alan, you can go now.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
“Is that the whole staff of the Haringey Private Hospital out on the front lawn?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cYes\u2026all there to see you off, Alan. \u00a0We cherish our customers. \u00a0But in your case they are out there as an expression of relief that you and your entourage are leaving.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cDo you ever have royal visits?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cOccasionally.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cDoes the old girl have horse manure on her boots.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cAlan, I am not at freedom to say\u2026\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
alan skeoch<\/div>\n
Dec. 2017<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Some of you readers, are serious types. \u00a0You may think I drank both these pints and many others. \u00a0Truth is I have only had one pint which washed down a fine roast beef dinner in the village of Shire \u00a0where Gabriela keeps two of her horses \u00a0 That was two days ago. I now measure time by B.B. and A.B. \u00a0Something like BC and AD. \u00a0 BB – Before Boot And AB – After Boot.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
This is a test to see how many of you actually read this far. \u00a0I will ask what BB means.\u00a0 Some of you just look at pictures. \u00a0If you only knew how much time I put into the stories you might be more charitable.\u00a0 All those who do not pass test for BB will be dropped from my email list. \u00a0They will probably be relieved.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
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<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
What? \u00a0Forget that idea\u2026lift me up.\u201d \u00a0Sat in a showroom chair until they found Kevin who was<\/div>\n
some distance away in another showroom. \u00a0From there we managed to get back to London\u2026about four hours. \u00a0I figured leg would get better. \u00a0Not so. \u00a0Next day Gab found a private hospital\u2026i.e. not part of English health care. \u00a0Diagnosis was later confirmed as torn Achilles tendon. \u00a0So now<\/div>\n
I have this goddamn boot to wear for six weeks (or longer\u2026yuck!). \u00a0Going nowhere so will<\/div>\n
occupy my time with stories. \u00a0Some slightly exaggerated. \u00a0I like the make stories better than they really were. \u00a0Just a personal character flaw.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Private health care was great by the way. \u00a0Doctor took me right away then an orthopaedic socialist, whups, I mean specialist arrived, hardly a socialist if private health care\u2026then a rugger player came with this huge boot which feels like a cement<\/div>\n
block on my left leg\u2026then sent me to a sound machine which must be some kind of X ray thing which confirmed everything. \u00a0\u201cTear is serious\u2026but not completely severed\u2026hence the boot.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cFeels like a cement block, how does that help? \u00a0Are you trying to rip the tendon completely? Sadists.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cNo. \u00a0Your tendon will be allowed to mesh.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cDid you say mesh or mash?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cBest to be quiet, sir. \u00a0 Did you have a head injury as well?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cNo, I hit first with my head\u2026drove glasses into my eyelash. Lucky.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cLucky?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cHead is like a block of wood\u2026dense\u2026useless\u2026\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cSir, would you be serious. \u00a0Who are all these people with you?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cWell, first off\u2026the woman with the horse manure on her boots is Gabriela. \u00a0She found this place. \u00a0She \u00a0spends a lots of time mucking out horse stalls. \u00a0Loves the smell of ‘horse manure in the morning\u2019 if I might use a slightly changed quote from the movie Apocalypse Now. The other woman carrying my clothes and holding the money is my wife Marjorie who<\/div>\n
you do not want to cross. \u00a0She is my bodyguard. \u00a0The guy in the black outfit is our son Kevin<\/div>\n
who just got off a Spanish show horse yesterday. \u00a0A war horse, sir. He is a rider (as long as the more is tethered<\/div>\n
and runs in circles.). \u00a0And finally there is Morgan, one of our Grandkids who acts as aid de camp to Marjorie and therefore is a person to be treated with caution.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cPatients do not come here often with a private army.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cDo I have to pay for everyone?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cBest we concentrate on the leg, sir. \u00a0You will be out of combat for the next six weeks.<\/div>\n
The boot is better than a leg cast.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cAnd the price? \u00a0We are just country folk as you can tell by the road apple stuff on Gabriela\u2019s boots.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cPrice is the same, sir\u2026Three of us are doctors. \u00a0You are getting the best care<\/div>\n
possible. \u00a0No waiting\u2026an orthopaedic specislist, a radiologist, a GP. \u00a0We will do all<\/div>\n
this in just a couple of hours. \u00a0Glad you are so cheerful.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Crying on the inside, doctor.\u2019<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cI am the skip of a very important Canadian curling team. Depend on my firm leadership and sterling example of sportsmanship. \u00a0Lucky I have back up. \u00a0My vice skip,<\/div>\n
Monica, will have to take over for month of January. \u00a0Hope she is willing. \u00a0I have the only<\/div>\n
female dominated team. \u00a0The other teams of men are scared shitless of us which is good. \u00a0But I wish<\/div>\n
I was mobile. \u00a0Crying on the inside as I said.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cSir, let me tell you about your injury\u2026stop horsing around.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cCan Gabriela wash her boots in that sink over there?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cSir, often our patients do not speak English.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cWhy tell me that?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cI wish you were one of those patients, Alan.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cHey\u2026you are using my first name. \u00a0Are we becoming friends?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cSeems so. \u00a0Should I expect a visit from the curling team?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cDirk and Shaymus are my leads. \u00a0Don\u2019t let the name Dirk scare you\u2026knife! Get it?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cAnd?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cthen there is Shaymus\u2026Irish\/English stock\u2026knows all the tricks of the toffs over here in<\/div>\n
Britain. \u00a0Would you call yourself a toff?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cYour leg, Alan, be careful but norm\u2026..\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cThen there is Leslie, our second, who has at times a houseful of stray dogs. \u00a0Additional<\/div>\n
protection if need. \u00a0Then Sharon, our spare, who will be helping Marjorie carry me into<\/div>\n
the rink to watch the games. \u00a0Like a royal guest. On a stuffed chair with garlands and flags\u2026and a flagon of mead.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cSir, you can leave now.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cThe bill?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cTotal comes to 780 pounds\u2026see the cashier\u2026\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cA thousand dollars. \u00a0fine\u2026hope Visa works.\u201d \u00a0(I expected a lot higher so was relieved)<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cMarjorie, I was scared it would be more\u2026three doctors (all thin and in their prime), one therapist (rugger player), one go at the sound machine, one big non \u00a0returnable boot, two socks, four cups of coffee (two Late), and then Tristran the nurse with all the tattoos who helped me off and on with the boot.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cOh, by the way, Alan, be sure and leave the boot on in bed at night\u2026you are the kind of guy<\/div>\n
that tosses around\u2026could worsen things\u2026wear it at all times.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cHow do you know I toss around?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cAnybody that talks as much as you probably has vivid dreams of race horses and such. \u00a0Wear the boot.:<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
“Like a goddamn cement block already.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cWear the boot, Alan, stop being amusing.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201c \u00a0Not amusing, did you miss the word goddamn.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cLet me shake your hand, Alan, you can go now.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
“Is that the whole staff of the Haringey Private Hospital out on the front lawn?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cYes\u2026all there to see you off, Alan. \u00a0We cherish our customers. \u00a0But in your case they<\/div>\n
are out there as an expression of relief that you and your entourage are leaving.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cDo you ever have royal visits?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cOccasionally.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cDoes the old girl have horse manure on her boots.\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u201cAlan, I am not at freedom to say\u2026\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
alan skeoch<\/div>\n
Dec. 2017<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n
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\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

No, I have not joined Star Wars. \u00a0This is my #$%$ boot. \u00a0Read on if you have the time and the stomach for disaster.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-334","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/334","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=334"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/334\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":348,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/334\/revisions\/348"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=334"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=334"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=334"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}