{"id":250,"date":"2017-07-29T20:46:56","date_gmt":"2017-07-30T00:46:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=250"},"modified":"2017-11-13T20:55:40","modified_gmt":"2017-11-14T01:55:40","slug":"i-smell-a-skunkworse-than-a-skunk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=250","title":{"rendered":"I SMELL A SKUNK\u2026WORSE THAN A SKUNK"},"content":{"rendered":"

(A story written by Woody our dog)<\/p>\n

alan skeoch
\nJuly 29, 2017<\/p>\n

WOODY, the Skeoch dog, found himself in charge of a major event on July 29, 2017. Let him tell the story;<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

WOODY, the Skeoch dog, found himself in charge of a major event on July 29, 2017.\u00a0 Let him tell the story;
\nSeemed like a normal summer day at our farm. Except that I was the only one around the house when the big truck arrived.\u00a0 Guess that puts me in charge of decision making.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cHuge truck out front\u2026with a skunk painted on the side along with a new word\u2026SEWAGE.Can I help you?\u201d
\n\u201cYes, my name is Joe Clark\u2026came to suck up the sewage from the septic system\u2026Do you know where the lids are\u201d
\n\u201cYep, over here, been digging holes here because of the faint smell.”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cAre you going to make a mess?\u00a0 My owners, Marjorie and Alan Skeoch can take a bit of mess but would hate to see the farm yard blasted to smithereens.\u201d
\n\u201cNo problem Woody\u2026move the teeter totter so I can get the truck close to the house.\u201d
\n\u201cSorry, I have paws not hands\u2026you will have to do that.\u00a0 Consider me the supervisor.\u00a0 I watch but do not work.”<\/p>\n

\"\"\"\" \"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cFound the lid, Woody, used a bar until I got an echo.\u00a0 Trick off the trade.\u00a0 Lots of these septic tanks are hidden\u2026”<\/p>\n

\"\" \"\"
\n\u201cLooks dangerous to me, Joe\u2026could someone fall in that hole and drown?\u201d
\n\u201cSure\u2026you be careful.\u201d
\n\u201cHow come it does not stink?\u201d
\n\u201cGood septic system\u2026not much odour until I start to get the sludge sucked up.\u201d
\n\u201cVile looking\u2026black and bubbling\u2026how can you stand the job?\u201d
\n\u201cImportant to have people like me around\u2026keep things safe and healthy.”<\/p>\n

\"\" \"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cWell Woody, now we are ready to drain the tanks\u2026both sides\u2026the heavy stuff and the light stuff\u2026suck it up with this long vacuum tube.\u00a0 \u00a0Easy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\" \"\" \"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cJoe, this hole scares me but at the same time the smells are interesting\u2026”<\/p>\n

\"\" \"\" \"\" \"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cHere let me give you a hand putting the lid back on.\u00a0 What was all that black stuff at the bottom?\u201d
\n\u201cWe call it seepage\u2026others call its sludge\u2026ignorant people call it by another name.\u00a0 Look on the back off our truck for that other name, Woody.:<\/p>\n

\"\" \"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is that written on the back of the truck?\u201d
\n\u201cCan you not read Woody?\u201d
\n\u201cI can read, of course but is that the letter \u201ch\u201d which is covered up?\u201d
\n\u201cRight.”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere does this stuff\u2026this #$%^^\u2026go?\u00a0 Where do you put it, Joe?\u201d
\n\u201cBy law now it has to go to a sewage treatment plant.\u00a0 In the old days it was just dumped in a convenient isolated sewage lagoon\u2026or spread right on farm fields with no treatment.\u00a0 Recycled you might say\u2026from human guts to farm fields to food crops and back to the human gut.\u00a0 A circle if you will.\u201d
\n\u201cThat\u2019s what happened when we used the old back house being the farm house.\u00a0 Every once in a while we should shovel it out and bury it by the rhubarb patch.\u00a0 Made rhubarb thrive.\u201d
\n\u201cA bit dangerous when you get a truckload like this\u2026if we dumped it here it would drown the rhubarb I bet.\u00a0 \u00a0And the guck would sit there like mud\u2026lethal mud maybe.\u00a0 And the stink would make your eyes water, give you headaches even nosebleeds make you run away for a while.\u00a0 A lot better to treat it at a sewage plant.:
\n\u201cBut what happens after treatment\u2026.after the nasty bacteria and viruses are killed?\u201d
\n\u201cGoes back on farm land\u2026.big company has a system\u2026they make the solids back into a slurry and spread it \u2026quietly\u2026on farm fields.\u00a0 Cheap fertilizer\u2026lost oil nitrogen.\u201d
\n\u201cWhy did you say \u201cspread quietly\u201d?\u201d
\n\u201cNot everyone wants the sludge near their houses.\u00a0 Some court cases about the stuff\u2026.\u201d
\n\u201cCourt cases?\u201d
\n\u201cThe treated sewage still contains some things that are not nice such as traces of heavy\u00a0 metals such as cadmium, \u2026poisons.\u00a0 Dangers have not been proven but there is controversy.\u00a0 Must be dumped though. Sewage plants have to do something with the stuff.\u00a0 But a lot of people do not want it in their back yard.\u201d
\n\u201cPeople do not want me leaving deposits either\u2026Marjorie picks it up with plastic bags\u2026that goes into landfill.\u00a0 \u00a0Alan worries about the plastic bags\u2026feels the earth will soon be covered in plastic which is an overstatement of course.\u00a0 He makes lots of those great sweeping generalizations but always there is a kernel of truth.\u201d
\n\u201cDo you want a truckload of the treated sewage?\u201d
\n\u201cDoubt it.\u00a0 But it has to go somewhere\u2026.but where?\u201d
\n\u201cNext time you are driving up the Fifth line and you see a lot of big trucks like mine pumping stuff into a large thing that looks like a swimming pool, and farm tractors spraying the stuff on the fields you will be seeing sewage sludge being spread on corn fields.\u00a0 They do not put up a big sign \u201cSewage Sludge being spread here\u201d because of the controversy.\u201d<\/p>\n

Is it free?\u201d
\n\u201cYes\u2026now do you want a load?\u201d
\n\u201cNope.\u00a0 But I understand why some big farmers welcome those trucks.\u00a0 Saves money\u2026increases profits\u2026and is a solution to a huge problem.\u00a0 Would you rather the stuff be pumped into hidden lagoons?\u00a0 Those lagoons are still being used here and there\u2026hidden.\u201d
\n\u201cI remember when young Andrew walked across the crust of a chicken shit lagoon\u2026and fell through up to his waste.\u00a0 Kevin pulled him out and dragged him over to Marjorie and Alan who were attending an auction sale on the farm.\u00a0 Andrew smelled so bad that they stopped the auction. The farm wife took Andrew inside and gave him a good bath.\u00a0 Lots of laughter. But could have been a disaster if Andrew drowned.\u00a0 That was a sewage lagoon right behind the farm barn\u2026huge thing.\u00a0 Nasty.\u201d
\n\u201cWoody, I have to go now.\u00a0 Nice help\u2026conversation makes the job better.\u00a0 I actually like my work.\u00a0 Important.\u201d
\n\u201cIs everything OK?\u00a0 The tank?\u201d
\n\u201cYep, but the old McLean tank needs a new lid\u2026and that is a big job as you will see if you paddle on down the road a bit.
\n\u201cDoes that sign on the back of your truck really say \u201cShit Disturber\u201d?
\n\u201cWoody\u2026you can read\u2026what a smart dog\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\" \"\" \"\" \"\" \"\" \"\" \"\"<\/p>\n

Alan:
\nWould be a great story in a children’s book
\n– children love stories about anything related to body functions
\n– and dogs
\n– the photos would be great
\n– hate to see these great stories not going further than me & your other friendsOwen
\nHi Owen
\nThanks for the comment\u2026I send stories to about a dozen people\u2026if I sense they are not read I cut the person as I am probably bothering them.\u00a0 Glad you read them.\u00a0 \u00a0 would love to do a book dealing with Ten years in Wilderness but my experience with book publishing is that it becomes a pain in the ass if you get the wrong editor\u2026and of course there is no profit\u2026I can make more money on one movie rental than I can from book that took a year to write\u2026sad\u2026royalties are peanuts\u2026and then there are the people who are offended by the odd swear word which I like putting in the stories.\u00a0 Hope you send them on to your progeny.\u00a0 Jim does not get them due to his email \u2026 I do not know which is the correct one anymore.\u00a0 I delivered a bunch of stuff to the Wellington County Museum and was surprised to find out they are familiar with our name in the Archives.\u00a0 i guess Roy has made a mark.
\nalan<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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