{"id":24527,"date":"2023-06-12T20:43:02","date_gmt":"2023-06-13T00:43:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=24527"},"modified":"2023-07-18T16:08:01","modified_gmt":"2023-07-18T20:08:01","slug":"episode-835-she-was-scared-to-whom-could-she-turn-for-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=24527","title":{"rendered":"EPISODE 835 SHE WAS SCARED….TO WHOM COULD SHE TURN FOR HELP?"},"content":{"rendered":"
EPISODE 835       SHE WAS SCARED….TO WHOM COULD SHE TURN FOR HELP?<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n
aka skeoch<\/div>\n
june 2023<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\"25<\/div>\n
Hugging can be very dangerous for teachers.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
TO WHOM COULD SHE TURN FOR HELP?  ME?  YIKES!<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
She lingered as the classes changed.   Her boyfriend was there as well but outside my classroom <\/div>\n
door.  She wanted to talk to me alone.  <\/div>\n
Alone! Yikes!  Being alone with a female student is not<\/div>\n
a good thing under any circumstances.   It is darn dangerous.  Can cost a teacher his job.<\/div>\n
  Never be alone with a female student.  Friendly for sure.  Laughing and<\/div>\n
teasing but never crossing the line\u2026to be alone with a female student.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
But that day she wanted to speak ro me privately\u2026urgently.   I remember her name and her face<\/div>\n
clearly now… about 30 years later.  But I did not talk with her alone.  she mumbled something to me\u2026..one clear<\/div>\n
wrord was \u2018help\u2019.    She was not explicit but it was clear something bad had happened.  Seemed<\/div>\n
sexual.   Seemed parent was involved.  But It was not clear.And getting enmeshed in the<\/div>\n
situation was  not a good idea.   Her boyfriend was also one of my students.  He remained <\/div>\n
in the hall but clearly  wanted  her to get help from me.  They trusted me.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
So I had to do something.  And fast.  She did not want to go home.   I was not sure why<\/div>\n
but there were enough hints that i feared sexual abuse.\u2019<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\u201cI willl see what I can do?\u201d<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
And away they went.  What should I do?  What could I do? To whom could Turn<\/div>\n
for help?  Te girl should have gone to the guidance department but she did not.<\/div>\n
Too embarrassing it seemed.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Then it dawned on me that the school nurse might help.  <\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\u201cI am not sure but I think one of my students fears sexual abuse.  She asked me to help\u2026sort of<\/div>\n
asked me.   Her boyfriend was with her and he seemed worried as well.  Both really nice kids.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cLeave it to me.” said the nurse and immediately steps were taken.  I never knew<\/div>\n
what steps.  The girl was interviewed and I believe she did not go home that night but<\/div>\n
instead was taken to a safe place\u2026..a home for women in trouble.  It happened fast.<\/div>\n
within an hour or so.   She wagon.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
the nurse did not confide in me.  But she knew this kind of trouble could be dangerous<\/div>\n
and discretion was necessary.   I am not sure if anyone else knew what happened.<\/div>\n
she did not return to my class.  She was gone. I am not sure what had happened\u2026<\/div>\n
if anything.  Something did happen .  That was the soft voice saying \u2018help\u2019.  She was gone.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Then a long time later, perhaps a year, the girl appeared with her boyfriend at my classroom<\/div>\n
door.  Both happy and smiling.  They did not say much  but wanted to express<\/div>\n
thanks.   Not sure it they were married by then but suspect marriage was coming<\/div>\n
soon.  <\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
I think they  owned a small booth in<\/div>\n
one of the malls in Toronto. They were a very happy couple.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
WHY WAS I SO CAUTIOUS\u2026SO SECRETIVE?<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
For good reason.  Teachers are assumed to be guilty until proven<\/div>\n
innocent if a student says touching has occurred.  It might be imaginary or real\u2026<\/div>\n
like an innocent hug.   The  teacher is sent home until the case<\/div>\n
is examined..  That teacher might be quite innocent but will carry a cloud of<\/div>\n
suspicion no matter what is determined.   So most of my teacher friends keep <\/div>\n
their distance.  As do I.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Innocent until proven guilty no longer seems to apply.<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
alan<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

EPISODE 835       SHE WAS SCARED….TO WHOM COULD SHE TURN FOR HELP? aka skeoch june 2023 Hugging can be very dangerous for teachers. TO WHOM COULD SHE TURN FOR HELP?  ME?  YIKES! She lingered as the classes changed.   Her boyfriend was there as well but outside my classroom  door.  She wanted to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24527","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24527","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=24527"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24527\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=24527"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=24527"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=24527"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}