{"id":19256,"date":"2021-11-25T22:00:16","date_gmt":"2021-11-26T03:00:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=19256"},"modified":"2021-11-25T22:01:55","modified_gmt":"2021-11-26T03:01:55","slug":"episode-479-some-advice-about-auctions-not-all-are-great-from-story-2017-titled-dont-pull-my-leg","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=19256","title":{"rendered":"EPISODE 479 SOME ADVICE ABOUT AUCTIONS: NOT ALL ARE GREAT…FROM STORY 2017 TITLED “DON’T PULL MY LEG”"},"content":{"rendered":"
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From:<\/b> Alan Skeoch <alan.skeoch@rogers.com<\/a><\/a>>
Sent:<\/b> 02 October 2017 01:13
To:<\/b> Marjorie Skeoch
Subject:<\/b> DON’T PULL MY LEG! …”I NEVER PROMISED YOU A ROSE GARDEN”<\/font><\/p>\n
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EPISODE 479     DON\u2019T PULL MY LEG!\u2026THE UNDERSIDE OF THE AUCTION CURCUIT (STORY WRITTEN IN 2017<\/div>\n

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alan skeoch<\/div>\n
Oct. 1, 2017<\/div>\n

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ON Oct 1, we got up at 6.30 a.m. and then drove for two hours to get to Mitchell\u2019s auction barn.<\/div>\n
Maybe I used the wrong term.   It was not a barn.  it was a long tin encased shed open at both ends.<\/div>\n
Not very charming.  Worse than that, I spent the previous day cleaning up the truck for our first Sunday <\/div>\n
auction.  Like going to church wearing our <\/div>\n
Sunday best.    We had been sucked in by advertising.<\/div>\n

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So here is a short story\u2026a conversation with an imaginary friend who wants to go to a farm auction.<\/div>\n
A person like Voltaire\u2019s<\/div>\n
 Candide\u2026innocent, naive, daft.<\/div>\n

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CONVERSATION<\/div>\n

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\u201cSorry but I don\u2019t think you would want to go with us to a farm auction.  It\u2019s a mugs game\u2026auction searching.  Not pretty at times, downright disappointing at other times.”<\/div>\n

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“DON\u2019T PULL MY LEG, YOU JUST DO NOT WANT ME TO COMPETE WITH YOU AT THE AUCTION”.<\/div>\n
(Comment by s person like you\u2026a person who wants to go to a farm auction:)<\/div>\n
I WANT TO GO\u2026TO FOLLOW YOU\u2026”<\/div>\n

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“Are you sure!  I mean are you really sure you want to go to an auction?   I mean are you ready for disappointment?”<\/div>\n

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\u201cYes, yes, yes\u2026I know the difference between an advertisement and reality.\u201d<\/div>\n

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\u201cWell, take a look here\u2026we drove a long way to get to this auction and we only stayed for an hour\u2026\u201d<\/div>\n

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\u201cOh, but I would have loved it.  I would have bought something. \u201c<\/div>\n

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\u201cJust what would you have bought\u2026pick and choose below.\u201d<\/div>\n

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\u201cCLUES that this would not be a stellar auction\u2026look at the back of these heads\u2026mostly men\u2026virtually all men.  Looking for old motors\u2026pieces of motors\u2026grease from motors\u2026the smell of motors.”<\/div>\n

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\u201cWhy are we here Alan?\u201d<\/div>\n

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\u201cI hope to get that grindstone\u2026but must admit the situation is not promising. Someone just paid $200 for an old bag cart.\u201d<\/div>\n

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\u201cAlan, the auctioneer just sold an old Crokinole board for $100.   Worth about $5 tops.  This is not a good place.”<\/div>\n

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\u201cAlways something to admire Marjorie\u2026look at these exposed gears.  Imagine one of the kids getting his or her finger stuck in there.\u201d<\/div>\n

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\u201cAlan, you are after that dog treadmill\u2026I know it.  We already have one.  And the auctioneer is getting $50 for old signs\u2026the mill will be \u2026\u201d<\/div>\n

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\u201cOK, I agree, let\u2019s hit the road.\u201d<\/div>\n

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\u201cYou don\u2019t usually give up that easily, Alan, why \u2026 WHY?\u201d<\/div>\n

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\u201cThe geese just flew over.  Even they did not want to land here.  There heading south as should we.”<\/div>\n

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\u201cBut first let me try to capture the mood of the sale.\u201d<\/div>\n

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\u201cNude manikins, you mean?\u201d<\/div>\n

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\u201cNope, look beside the manikins…those are two real wooden legs\u2026.those legs could tell a real story.  Some poor soul wore them.  Perhaps a veteran from  World War II\u2026perhaps he<\/div>\n
was the man who owned all these things.  There is a story here\u2026”<\/div>\n

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\u201cNow, I know you want that turnip seeding machine\u2026.\u201d<\/div>\n

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\u201cTrue.”<\/div>\n

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\u201cAlan, the auctioneer just sold an old Coca Cola bottle for $10\u2026.and look at those other bottles.  Crown Royal bottle!\u201d<\/div>\n

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\u201cThat Crown Royal Bottle is worth 20 cents at the liquor store.\u201d<\/div>\n

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\u201cjust try to bid ten cents\u2026just try.  I haven\u2019t seen anything selling for less than ten  dollars\u2026most things in the fifty or sixty dollar range.”<\/div>\n

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\u201cAhah!  Another story here.  This 1929 Plymouth.  Seems to be in fair condition.  Comes complete with spare parts\u2026spare wheels\u2026even a 1966 licence plate.<\/div>\n
And it has ownership papers..  What would you bid?   “<\/div>\n

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\u201cWe are heading home.  I noted that the fellow with the six quart basket thought he got a treasure of some kind.  Look at the way he is carrying\u2026cuddling\u2026his purchase.\u201d<\/div>\n

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\u201cMarjorie, could we stay around for the nudes\u2026and the wooden legs?\u201d<\/div>\n

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\u201cSometimes you do foolish things, Alan.\u201d<\/div>\n

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\u201cBut all our friends want to come to farm auctions\u2026maybe some are here already.\u201d<\/div>\n

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\u201cIf they are here, they are hiding and quietly turning their ignition keys to make a stealthy escape\u2026\u201d<\/div>\n

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\u201cJUST AS WE ARE ABOUT TO DO.\u201d<\/div>\n

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NICE LOT OF PUMPKINS AT THE ROADSIDE ALONG THE WAY\u2026<\/div>\n

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\u201cMarjorie, do you think the movies would be interested in a pair of wooden legs?\u2019<\/div>\n

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\u201cKeep your eyes on the road\u2026we are heading south with that flock of geese.<\/div>\n

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alan skeoch<\/div>\n
Oct. 1,k 2017<\/div>\n

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From: Alan Skeoch <alan.skeoch@rogers.com>Sent: 02 October 2017 01:13To: Marjorie SkeochSubject: DON’T PULL MY LEG! …”I NEVER PROMISED YOU A ROSE GARDEN”   EPISODE 479     DON\u2019T PULL MY LEG!\u2026THE UNDERSIDE OF THE AUCTION CURCUIT (STORY WRITTEN IN 2017 alan skeoch Oct. 1, 2017 ON Oct 1, we got up at 6.30 a.m. and then drove for two hours […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19256","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19256","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=19256"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19256\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=19256"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=19256"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=19256"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}