{"id":18333,"date":"2021-09-10T12:16:00","date_gmt":"2021-09-10T16:16:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=18333"},"modified":"2021-09-12T14:42:01","modified_gmt":"2021-09-12T18:42:01","slug":"episode-426-what-does-the-word-procedure-mean-i-soon-found-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=18333","title":{"rendered":"EPISODE 426 WHAT DOES THE WORD ‘PROCEDURE’ MEAN? I SOON FOUND OUT"},"content":{"rendered":"
EPISODE 426    WHAT DOES THE WORD ‘PROCEDURE’ MEAN?  I SOON FOUND OUT<\/p>\n

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alan skeoch<\/div>\n
Set. 2021<\/div>\n

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\u201cCome into the office on Sept. 9?”<\/div>\n
That was all I heard.   The word \u2018procedure\u2019 may have been used by the doctor<\/div>\n
but that was all Greek to me.  So  I carried on as usual. <\/div>\n

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 \u201cMarjorie we have two trucks coming<\/div>\n
to the farm today ,both delivering things of ours from Erica and Naomi…then at 2.30 I have a doctor appointment<\/div>\n
to look at my head\u2026bump that\u2019s been there for 40 0r 50 years.. <\/div>\n

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 Busy day lugging beautiful objects from the back of a five ton truck. A plow, sap pails, electric motors.. Marjorie sometimes uses<\/div>\n
the word \u2018junk\u2019 which grieves me even if she might be right Second truck had big things\u2026work benches<\/div>\n
a pile of ladders, broken grind stone, large mobile racks.   For five hours we unloaded.<\/div>\n
Hard work.  Near completion Marjorie set out coffee, bagels and cream cheese for the movie<\/div>\n
people.<\/div>\n

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\u201cHave to rush.  Doctors expect promptness  Wants to take a look at the bump\u2026my brain is so big <\/div>\n
it is expanding.\u201d<\/div>\n

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So we rushed back to Mississauga.  I changed clothes\u2026even put on a new (used) pair of shoes<\/div>\n
we got at the Salvation Army Thrift store.   Then I zipped over to the medical place.  Took ages<\/div>\n
to get through the door. Like a space capsule.  Then the receptionist cross examined me for Covid 19.<\/div>\n
Mostly verbal. Made me wonder if people lied when asked.  I was cleared . Took a seat. Alone.<\/div>\n

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  I do not remember anyone who used the word \u2018procedure\u2019.  Then Nurse Stephanie welcomed me<\/div>\n
and ushered me down a long hallway lined with perfect sheets of mahogany.  Quite a spiffy<\/div>\n
place.  What is a plastic surgeon? Attractive nurses for sure.<\/div>\n

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A door opened to a room in stark white with all kinds of mobile things attached to the ceiling.<\/div>\n

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\u201cTake off your shoes, please, and sit on the bed\u201d  <\/div>\n
\u201cHow will I get the shoes back on \u2026 no shoe horn..must they be removed?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cYes, afraid so.\u201d<\/div>\n
I sat on a bed that was really a gurney.<\/div>\n
\u201cWill you lie on your back.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cIs that necessary\u2026I would rather sit.\u201d  (How the hell would I get back up if flat on the gurney?)<\/div>\n
\u201cYes, necessary to do the procedure.\u201d<\/div>\n
(Procedure?\u2026that word again)<\/div>\n
Bright lights on my head.  Closed my eyes.  Then my head was covered with a disposable sheet<\/div>\n
with a hole for the \u2018procedure’.   And another cover was over my eyes.  Any air I could get came<\/div>\n
from under the sheets and then through the goddamn face mask.  This was no joke\u2026this \u2018procedure’<\/div>\n
business.  My forehead was rubbed with some goop, perhaps alcohol and the doctor began some<\/div>\n
fast cutting.  Hurt but not screaming hurt.  This was not what I expected.<\/div>\n
\u201cAre you OK?\u201d asked one of the nurses.<\/div>\n
\u201cI am beginning to feel like Frankenstein.\u201d  (Remember his head with the wires and cuts?)<\/div>\n
Someone may have laughed.  Nor sure anyone was listening to me.  They\u2026I counted four voices\u2026were<\/div>\n
chit chatting and talking about the incision\u2026the scarring.<\/div>\n
\u201cWill this raise or lower my I.Q?”<\/div>\n
\u201cHow does that feel?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cHow does a kick in the arse feel?\u201d I responded honestly if a little impolitely.<\/div>\n
(How long was this going to take\u2026what if I throw a panic attack? No one<\/div>\n
said anything about stitching up my head.  No one needed to. I felt the needles<\/div>\n
work.  No big pain though.  Best not to think about it.  I thought of my brother<\/div>\n
getting his throat cut to have his  thyroid  removed. Far worse.  Of course he was not<\/div>\n
awake like I was.  Also thought of my high school friend Kaye Donovan who just<\/div>\n
spent two months in a hospital  bed.  I would be off the gurney soon..and out of here<\/div>\n
in the outdoor air with no need for the mask.<\/div>\n
 Then some tape was applied and a bandage of some kind. Gently.<\/div>\n
\u201cAnd now for your chest, Alan.\u201d<\/div>\n
(God. no!  Damn close to my heart.  Had the little red spot for 30 years  Why did I tell<\/div>\n
Dr. Maharchand about it?  Stupid.)<\/div>\n
\u201cMore cutting and stitching?\u201d I asked. careful not to stutter or use bad words.<\/div>\n
No answer.  They probably feared I would use the F word.<\/div>\n
\u201cThere, all done\u2026and look what I found?\u201d<\/div>\n
Don\u2019t tell they took out my heart.<\/div>\n
\u201cSee?\u201d<\/div>\n
And nurse Stephanie held up a shoe horn and proceeded to put my shoes back on.<\/div>\n
\u201cThank you.  Don\u2019t know how I would have managed.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cAnything for a patient, Alan.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cCan I go now?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cYes, follow me.   Now remember only take showers.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cI like my bath tub.\u201d\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cOnly showers for the next three weeks.  And no strenuous activity.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cMy business involves physical activity\u2026need to work.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cWhat business?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cMovies.  We provide sets and props.  People need to be entertained.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cHow interesting.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cThis place would make a good movie.  Lots of tension.\u201d<\/div>\n
( I did not say horror movie but thought about the time Dad took me<\/div>\n
to the Doric theatre way back in 1949 where evil doctors were selling<\/div>\n
corpses\u2026that movie terrified me so much that I could not go to the<\/div>\n
Doric for ages.)<\/div>\n
\u201cThank you Stephanie, were you the person who stitched me up?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cOne of the persons\u2026there were two of us doing that.\u201d<\/div>\n
Somehow a ,mental image of Scarface took form.<\/div>\n
Then \u201cClick!\u201d  I was out the door.  Different door than I came in \u2026 just<\/div>\n
like the doors in the 1949 horror flick.<\/div>\n

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Later the nurse  phoned and got Marjorie.<\/div>\n
\u201cAlan had no idea he was to be operated on today.  You know<\/div>\n
he is deaf\u2026hard of hearing.   He probably never heard you say<\/div>\n
the word procedure and just nodded.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cReally?\u201d<\/div>\n

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\u201cMarjorie, I heard the word \u2018procedure\u201d\u2026I just did not know what it meant.<\/div>\n
Now I know.”<\/div>\n

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EPISODE 426    WHAT DOES THE WORD ‘PROCEDURE’ MEAN?  I SOON FOUND OUT alan skeoch Set. 2021 \u201cCome into the office on Sept. 9?” That was all I heard.   The word \u2018procedure\u2019 may have been used by the doctor but that was all Greek to me.  So  I carried on as usual.   \u201cMarjorie we […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18333","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18333","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=18333"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18333\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=18333"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=18333"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=18333"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}