{"id":1326,"date":"2018-08-02T22:17:24","date_gmt":"2018-08-03T02:17:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=1326"},"modified":"2018-10-28T13:50:57","modified_gmt":"2018-10-28T17:50:57","slug":"how-to-make-gum-first-invest-200000-in-a-good-combine-harvester","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/?p=1326","title":{"rendered":"HOW TO MAKE GUM…FIRST INVEST $200,000 IN A GOOD COMBINE HARVESTER"},"content":{"rendered":"
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RECIPE: HOW \u00a0TO MAKE \u00a0GUM<\/p>\n

(First, buy a \u00a0$200,000 combine harvester \u00a0then read my instructions below)<\/div>\n
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alan skeoch<\/div>\n
August 2, 2018<\/div>\n
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\u201cWant of \u00a0make your own gum, Marjorie?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cBetter things to do with my time\u2026like \u00a0cleaning house.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cSit down, I\u2019ll show you how to make good gum.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cSometimes I wonder about your \u00a0sanity, \u00a0Alan.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u2018Best gum is \u00a0home made gum.\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cGum?\u201d<\/div>\n
\u201cJust pay attention\u2026this is a lost art\u2026something that every farm girl \u00a0and boy new how\u00a0to do \u00a0years ago\u2026.making their own Gum. \u00a0Do not lose this historic moment.<\/div>\n
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First you need \u00a0a field of ripe wheat\u2026like \u00a0this crop on the, \u00a0Skeoch, \u00a0Kon \u00a0farm on the Fifth line of Erin Township.<\/div>\n
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Next you need to buy a $200,000 combine harvester from John Deere.<\/div>\n
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Then you need \u00a03 large trucks to haul \u00a0the grain.<\/div>\n
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Then you need a guy like Sean to drive the combine harvester…<\/div>\n
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“Now \u00a0for the serious business of making Gum?\u201d<\/div>\n
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\u201cAlan, you are a brick short of \u00a0a load.\u201d<\/div>\n
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\u201cHere is the recipe, make notes, I am only going to tell you once\u2026or twice\u2026or more\u2026times\u201d<\/div>\n
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\u201cMarjorie, where are you? \u00a0She \u00a0has left me all alone. \u00a0Fine student she has turned out to be.\u201d<\/div>\n
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MAKING GUM: INSTRUCTIONS<\/div>\n
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1) ROLL \u00a0A \u00a0FEW \u00a0HEADS \u00a0OF RIPE \u00a0GRAN IN THE PALM OF OUR HAND.<\/div>\n
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2) \u00a0BLOW AWAY \u00a0THE CHAFF\u2026GENTLY.<\/div>\n
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3) \u00a0SHOVEL \u00a0THE KERNELS INTO YOUR MOUTH\u2026HELTER SKELTER\u2026AND CHEW THE KERNELS \u00a0OF WINTER WHEAT.<\/div>\n
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4) \u00a0KEEP CHEWNG AND A \u00a0MIRACLE WILL HAPPEN\u2026NEVER FAILS<\/div>\n
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5) \u00a0PRESTO, YOU HAVE A MOUTHFUL OF \u00a0THE BEST GUM \u00a0NATURE CAN PROVIDE.<\/div>\n
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NOW, WHILE CHEWING JOIN \u00a0ME As \u00a0I FOLLOW THE COMBINE ON THE FARM\u2026.CHEW\u2026CHEW\u2026CHEW.<\/div>\n
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GOT THE IDEA? \u00a0GO \u00a0FINE \u00a0A FIELD \u00a0OF \u00a0RIPE WINTER WHEAT\u2026<\/div>\n
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\u201cALAN, THE PEOPLE FROM THE ONTARIO PSYCHIATRIC \u00a0HOSPITAL HAVE ARRIVED.\u201d<\/div>\n
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\u201cDO \u00a0THEY WANT TO MAKE GUM?\u201d<\/div>\n
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\u201cNOT REALLY\u2026THEY, HOWEVER, \u00a0WOULD LIKE TO TALK \u00a0TO YOU.\u201d<\/div>\n
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\u201cWAIT UNTIL I STICK MY WAD \u00a0OF GUM ON THE BACK OF THIS CHAIR.\u201d<\/div>\n
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\u201cDON\u2019T YOU DARE.\u201d<\/div>\n
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\u201cJUST WATCH \u00a0ME, AS PIERRE ONCE SAID.\u201d<\/div>\n
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alan skeoch<\/div>\n
August 2, 2018<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

RECIPE: HOW \u00a0TO MAKE \u00a0GUM (First, buy a \u00a0$200,000 combine harvester \u00a0then read my instructions below) alan skeoch August 2, 2018 \u201cWant of \u00a0make your own gum, Marjorie?\u201d \u201cBetter things to do with my time\u2026like \u00a0cleaning house.\u201d \u201cSit down, I\u2019ll show you how to make good gum.\u201d \u201cSometimes I wonder about your \u00a0sanity, \u00a0Alan.\u201d \u2018Best […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1326","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1326","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1326"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1326\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1629,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1326\/revisions\/1629"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1326"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1326"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alanskeoch.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1326"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}