Alan Skeoch

Year: 2022

  • EPISODE 587 WHY NO EPISODES LATELY

    EPISODES 587   WHY NO EPISODES LATELY


    alan skeoch
    May 21, 2022

    Lots of reasons for the delay in episodes for those of you who read them.
    Planting season is the big reason.  Computer overload is another.  Came misbehaviour. 
    End of my curling season.  Sickness of friends.  Got tractor and cultivator stuck in deep mud
    at an uneasy angle and had to wait for Andrew to get it out…underground spring cause.
    Too much research necessary on the Pebble Mine is another.  Easy to 
    find excuses.   But the episodes will return.

    Meanwhile why don’t you count the clouds…airships of the line.


  • EPISODE 583 CAMOUFLAGE … AND IPHONE DISTRACTION

    EPISODE 583    CAMOUFLAGE 


    alan skeoch
    May 16, 2022






    I PHONES can be dangerous.  In this case Kevin (eldest son) is totally unaware
    that the wild grape vines he is about to harvest contains a dangerous
    predator ready to scare the bejabbers out of him.  I phones are dangerous
    because they distract.   In the long term…i.e. a thousand years of iPhone
    there may be a mutation in our necks whereby we can only look down.
    Think about that.  What will we fail to see?  Will that mutation spell the
    end of human kind because we cannot see what is coming at us?  Will we
    fail to see the sunrise….the sunset…the sky?  Silly, I know that.

    QUOTE OF THE WEEK

    Last week our grandson Jack took the first step in basic training
    for the Canadian army.  Adulthood.  Leaving the nest. We do not know where that will lead him and 
    miss him dearly.    It seems he feels the same because he wrote to
    his sister Molly a very endearing letter which included this sentence.

    “Molly, will you show Norman my picture often, I don’t want him to forget me.”

    Who is Norman?  Norman is their family dog.  Will Norman remember Jack
    when he sees Jack’s picture on an iPhone?   Not sure of the answer.

    Marjorie assures me the Norman will remember Jack forever. “There is no way
    to get rid of a scent.”

    alan

  • EISODE 581 COTTAGE LIFE…NOT ALWAYS GLORIOUS

    EPISODE 581   COTTAGE LIFE …NOT ALWAYS GLORIOUS


    alan skeoch
    may 13, 2022




    NORTH BAY: SUMMER 1965

    “Would you like to spend a couple of days at our cottage?”
    “Sure.”

    That invitation sounded great.  A couple of days all to ourselves at
    a Northern Ontario cottage.   Visions of gin and tonic served on a sunny
    wood deck with a northern lake stretched out below with a dock and
    motor boat and arm sunny evenings with a campfire and marshmallows.

    Well we discovered that cottage life is not all its trumped up to be.
    The cottage was high above the lake.   No deck.  Really it was
    a garage built under a canopy of pine, cedar and tag alder.  Home
    to a million blood consuming insects.  

    The safest place was inside the one room cottage.  It was big enough
    to park a car but not much more.  Yes it was really a garage.  Some itinerant
    vandal had ripped the screening from the windows.  To open them was to
    invite the little blood consuming creatures in for dinner.

    There was one bed.  A place of safety as the sun settled and night
    arrived  That’s when the mice came out.  Dozens of them scurrying
    here and there as we snuggled down in our sleeping bag hoping
    that no pregnant varmint had found the bag a good place to make
    a nest for little creatures.  

    We did not sleep. Nights in the north can get cold.  No stove in the
    cottage unless a Coleman cooking stove would do.  We got it going
    But would the Coleman
    consume all the oxygen and leave us to die?  We made it
    through the night OK.  The thought of a nice swim in the morning
    allowed us to put the negatives of cottage life aside.

    Well.  We were wrong.  The lake was not a lake really. Swamp would
    be a better term…It looked like
    a lake and I suppose far out from shore it became a lake.  But we
    never reached the open water.  The water weeds were as thick as
    a tropical forest.  And on the weeds were little slippery things called
    leeches.  And other squishy things that moved as we trod our 
    way out from shore.  Perfect hideout for snapping turtles we decided.
    What would happen if a bare foot appeared in front of a snapper’s mouth?

    I got my camera…waded out to Marjorie and got
    a good shot of the cottage we would never forget.

  • EPISODE 580 “ANDREW PULLED ANOTHER STUNT TODAY” (TALE OF THE GUMBALL MACHINE, JULY 24, 1978)

    EPISODE 580   “ANDREW PULLED ANOTHER STUNT TODAY” (TALE OF THE GUMBALL MACHINE, JULY 24, 1978)


    alan skeoch
    May 13,2022




    “Andrew pulled another stunt today at the supermarket ,” wrote Marjorie way back in 1978
    which we will call the Gumball caper.  Let me try to put the story in the first person.

    “Gumball machine over there.”
    “Trust the supermarket to do that.”
    “Mom?”…”Gumball?”
    “No, Shopping fast today.”
    (long pause while Marjorie shopped)

    “Where is Andrew?”
    “I called but he didn’t come….where is he?”
    “Notice the crowd over there at the entrance….hope not Andrew in centre.”
    “He is…got his hand stuck in the gumboil machine…”
    “Didn’t put a quarter in….”
    “Got his hand wedged up the gumball slot.  Trying to reach the gumballs.”
    “Andrew?”
    “Hand got caught, Mom..still caught…these people are trying to help.”
    (about ten people gathered around.)
    “Does it hurt?”
    “Sort of  hurts”
    How Many Gumballs Fit In The Gumball Machine? - Robert Kaplinsky
    Picture of Monster Gumball machine…Not Andrew in picture but you can see how tempting
    the size of the slot would be to a Guball thief.   Never ever seen such a gumboil machine.

    “Get the manager, Alan”
    “Manager is away trying to phone the vending machine people.”
    “Yaaa!  This hurts, mom.”
    “I know.”
    “Tell Kevin (brother) to stop laughing at me, mom”
    “Here comes the manager with a screw driver.”
    “Twisting…smashing the gumball machine….only way to get his hand out.”

    People gathered around.  Most of them smiling. A few, however, were concerned about Andrew.

    “There!  Got his hand out at least.”
    “Still part of the machine around his wrist.”
    “Like a bracelet.”
    “More like a handcuff.”

    “Just one simple question, Andrew.”
    :What, dad?”
    “Did you manage to get a gumboil?



    alan

    Post script…Marjorie’s Note  July 24, 1978


  • EPISODE 583 “ALAN, DON’T DO IT! WE CAN Make ir….I think!”

    Note from Alan:  The story of the Pebble Mine is difficult. 127,000 pages and 1 million feet of diamond
    drill core…and the young discoverer, Phil St . George, is hard to find….ignored in mine reports it seems.
    So here is a short story.  I am typing this note as the JD sprayer drags us along.  Marjorie was right…when
    she said “Don’t do it!”



    EPISODE 583   “ALAN, DON’T DO IT!”  “WE CAN MAKE IT…I think !”


    alan skeoch
    may 12,2022

    “Quick Marjorie, get in the car.”
    “Why?”
    “I think we can slip beneath that John Deere sprayer.”
    “No!”
    “Too late, here we go….”


    “Well, we did not make it…stuck…what will we do now?”
    “Make a call to John Deere HQ”
    “Why?”
    “They must have had this problem before.”
    “No one is as stupid as you.”
    “Seemed like a good idea…”
    “Dumb”
    “Save on gas…let this giant spider drag us along.”
    “Stupid is as stupid does….as Tom Hanks said.”