Alan Skeoch

Category: Uncategorized

  • KEVIN AND ANDY AND MARJORIE…LOADING FOR MOVIE FEB. 16, 2018

    Subject: KEVIN AND ANDY AND MARJORIE…LOADING FOR MOVIE FEB. 16, 2018
    Date: Sat, 17 Feb 2018 11:17:17 -0500
    From: Alan Skeoch
    To: Kevin Skeoch ; Marjorie Skeoch; Gabriela Skeoch; Eric Skeoch; Alan Skeoch
    This was  a bitterly cold  day…wind blowing icy air…Kevin and Andy  helped me load some ‘diamond quality’ set and prop material  for the Movie ANNE (of Green Gables)…Marjorie arrived in the barn to finish off the job.  Note Kevin holding  our recent acquisition, a playground  horse on a huge spring.   I had a scrap  yard spring welded  to an aluminium horse… by Bill Brooks  down the  road, just in case  you have a similar wedding planned for two  pieces that would  otherwise be called junk.   If you need  to understand the sheer joy of this venture then consult  the famous  ‘Acres of Diamonds’ speech, one of the most famous speeches ever made.
    alan
    PS  Try walking in winter with your toes  exposed then you might understand  how I  felt wearing my big plastic Boot that is supposed to help  my torn Achilles tendon.  The Boot was not designed for winter walking.  Toes were  ready to be snapped  off and put in a fine drink by evening.  Fine drink? Sure,  Like that Dawson  City speciality.  Never heard of  it?  Do a  search.

    (more…)

  • Skeoch farm. for ZANA Feb 10 2018 (and others)

    Subject: Skeoch farm. for ZANA Feb 10 2018 (and others)
    Date: Sat, 10 Feb 2018 10:09:58 -0500
    From: Alan Skeoch
    To: Zana Ancerl
    Feb. 10, 2018  Skeoch Farm: Miserable day

    HI ZANA,

    We did the best we could in tough conditions.  See pics below.  The short pipe and  knuckle fell off somewhere in deep snow…searched  until dusk but no luck…It can be faked  or replicated by your carps…you have one as a copy so should  be easy.

  • alan

    Subject: alan
    Date: Thu, 8 Feb 2018 13:04:12 -0500
    From: Alan Skeoch
    To: Eric Skeoch

    Hi Good news today…NO OPERATION…HEALING although i will have to wear the cursed Boot for another 6 weeks.

    Physiotherapy can start in earnest which is good I saw a lot of miserable people at hospital today…sat there for 3 hours…then saw doctor for 3 minus…he touched my foot and said to see him in 6 weeks…for three seconds…then took one riser out of the cursed Boot. No ultra sound just visual. Do not have to sleep with boot on anymore. The oddest thing about this whole affair is that doctors (Have seen 5 or 6) have never really touched my foot. Only the Physiotherapist has given it a a real rubbing. Female. Touched me!!! Wow! Law suit maybe. A visit to the hospital makes me realize how very lucky I am. really should volunteer to help out I have signed up for a climb to Mount Everest in early April. Marjorie does not approve but realizes I will need a holiday by April…and the last time I fell from a mountain was 3 years ago in France. Bit wiser now. My biggest worry? Worried that my curling team will forget I even exist…they are doing so well without me. Will I be better for one or two of our last games.  Wish I could say yes…must look at calendar.

    alan

  • RED (ARNOLD “RED” SKEOCH…SCAM ARTIST)

    Subject: RED (ARNOLD “RED” SKEOCH…SCAM ARTIST)
    Date: Thu, 1 Feb 2018 13:47:28 -0500
    From: Alan Skeoch

    NOTE:  Only sending this to a few people…to assess whether it is just to offensive for sensitive ears…please comment)…errors will be corrected…some irrelevant stories  will need  to be deleted…especially the bank deposit…the test.

    RED

    (Arnold “Red” Skeoch…scam artist)

    alan skeoch
    Jan. 20118
    “Hold my hands, don’t say a damn thing,  Look straight ahead and…above all,  do not smile…and never tell your mother”
    “Why, Daddy?”
    “Hush up…No talking..just do what i said.”
    “Where are we going?”
    ‘Into the bank.”
    This  is my Dad, Arnold (Red) Skeoch’  His critics said “Those poor
    boys, Eric  and Alan.!  In our opinion he was  one of the great characters in our lives.  Lovably imperfect.

    (more…)

  • “And how are you today?” ESCAPE

    Subject: “and how are you today?” ESCAPE
    Date: Tue, 30 Jan 2018 10:43:20 -0500
    From: Alan Skeoch
    To: Marjorie Skeoch

    Some people are asking how am I managing. Well, I am doing fine. Really enjoying the calls from telemarketers…as you will see below. alan PHONE RINGING “HELLO,” Then …Somewhat garbled words then… “and how are you today?” “So glad you called. I have torn my Achillies tendon and have to wear this Boot. Let me describe it to you…gray plastic, velcro, risers…etc. etc. So nice to hear from you as I am alone with no one to talk to. You see, I fell a few weeks ago…down stairs…etc etc. And now I am sitting here in the house alone with snow outside, so glad to hear from you let me describe how I get dressed…etc. etc. How nice of you to ask “How am I today?” In addition I have a bit of a cold and am taking scotch whisky submerged in beer…etc etc. I wonder if you are free? I would dearly like a copy of Mr. Trump’s biography…Fire and something else in the title…etc. etc. Trump is a wonderful man…so nice to women…polite…and a bit of a sex fiend…etc. etc. Oh, and did I tell you about my new nightshirt? It got hooked on the bedpost and I tripped again. etc. etc. I am currently on the floor, being close to the ground is better for me but hard to get food, could you bring me …etc. etc. And please bring a big box of adult diapers. I need them because…. CLICK! OH dear, the telemarketer must have hung up. alan Kept that one on for 90 seconds…a record.

  • MOM BOUND OUR FAMILY TOGETHER

    Subject: MOM BOUND OUR FAMILY TOGETHER
    Date: Sat, 20 Jan 2018 19:20:19 -0500
    From: Alan Skeoch
    To: Marjorie Skeoch

    MOM BOUND OUR FAMILY TOGETHER
    (I regret I never told her so)

    alan skeoch
    jan. 2018

    Mom held  our family together.  If Dad  had been a single parent then Eric  and I would probably have been raised by Aunt Elizabeth or put in foster homes.  Not because Dad was a bad  man. He wasn’t.  He was  a legend in his own time. Charismatic in a twisted  way.  He just could not resist trying to grab the golden ring of the racetrack Merry Go Rounds.

    After my latest story about Dad  I got several calls  and emails from friends who were horrified.  What we thought was normal was not normal I guess.

  • Eleanor…in the barn as you might expect

    Subject: Eleanor…in the barn as you might expect
    Date: Sat, 20 Jan 2018 09:15:55 -0500
    From: Alan Skeoch
    To: Marjorie Skeoch, Eleanor Calder;

    Hi Eleanor,

    Here is a picture of you I took a few years ago while you were bagging fleeces
    in the barn.
    alan

  • Skeoch family time tunnel “GET ACTION, DO THINGS!’

    Subject: Skeoch family time tunnel “GET ACTION, DO THINGS!’
    Date: Fri, 19 Jan 2018 17:37:52 -0500
    From: Alan Skeoch
    To: Marjorie Skeoch
    SKEOCH FAMILY ENTER A TIME MACHINE
    GRAB THE MOMENT WHEN YOU CAN
    Life offers all kinds of opportunities  to do  silly things. We  have always revelled in such.   Why?  Because the study of history engraved four words  into our memory bank.  Words  expressed by Teddy Roosevelt when he considered his life.  “Get Action, Do Things!”   No deep philosophy here but if I had to memorize something from his life then those four words seemed good and we, as a family, have tried  to follow that advice.
    Hence the picture below.
    alan skeoch
    Jan. 2018
    P.S.  I have no  admiration for Teddy Roosevelt really.  Why?  Because of his terrible fascination with guns and the shooting of wild animals.  Killing things is not my idea of ‘action’.   Making the most out of  life…now that is action that hurts no one.   And that is why those four words are so important to us.
    Below is a  picture  we had  taken by a fun photographer on Centre Island when the boys were young and so photogenic.  We  had a lot of fun posing for this picture.  If you ever get such a chance, grab the opportunity.

  • “YOU ARE A GODDAMN FOOL!” “DAD, YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.”

    Subject: YOU ARE A GODDAMN FOOL!” “DAD, YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.”
    Date: Wed, 17 Jan 2018 22:03:21 -0500
    From: Alan Skeoch
    To: Marjorie Skeoch

    “YOU ARE A GODDAMN FOOL!”  “DAD, YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.”

     DAD SPOKE IN OPPOSITES…IF HE LIKED SOMETHING, HE SAID IT WAS JUNK.  WHEN HE CALLED ME A DIMWIT, HE MEANT I WAS OK. NOT THAT I WAS GREAT…JUST OK.  WE LIKED THAT….NO SLOPPY SENTIMENTALITY.  NO KISSING AND  HUGGING.
    alan skeoch
    Jan. 2018

  • DAD HITS THE DITCH WITH THE 1953 METEOR

    DAD HITS THE DITCH…BLAMES  THE  ROAD
    “Fix your goddamn road…hear me….FIX YOUR ROAD!!”
    ‘Red!  Red!  Be careful, you’re weaving all over the road.”
    “have to miss the pot holes…could break a spring.  If that son of a  bitch would  fix  his road, I wouldn’t have play  Dodge ‘Em all the way to the farm.  FIX YOUR ROAD!!”
    “Red! You Fathead!*  You’re off the road…Yiiiiii…we’re going to turn over in the swamp.”
    “Get out ..  everybody out.”
    “Elsie…get out my door….not yours”
    “I can’t…I  cannot move.”
    “Why not?”
    “High heels have gone through the floorboards….pinned me here.”
    “Take off your shoes…crawl out…not that way…boys can see top of your nylons…girdle clips…be more graceful can’t you?”
    {*Calling Dad a Fathead  was the  closest Mom every got to swearing.  Dad made up for this lack  of obscenities however.}
    “Slip up the road  and  get Frank or Ted to come down  to haul us out.”