EPISODE 598 “BLUEJAYS? NOPE, THE DAMN YANKEES’

EPISODE 598    ‘BLUEJAYS? NOPE, THE DAMN YANKEES”


alan skeoch
June 16, 2022





SOMETIMES IMPULSE PAYS OFF BIG TIME…DAMN YANKEES

ON impulse, Marjorie and I booked two front row tickets to see 
The Damn Yankees at the Shaw Festival at $45 a seat.  Cheap.
We did not know the story but relied on the Shaw Festival people
to provide first rate entertainment.  We were not disappointed
even though the twists and turns of the plot were a little mystifying.
…Like Mr. Applegate was supposed to be the Devil.  How 
could that be when he was so funny, so capable of amusing contortions,
LIKE an affable, if dishonest, crook. I liked him. Who could like the devil?

Why did we like the production?.  Because we really needed
a release from the dark days through which the our sister
nation is living right now.  Trump has twisted Americs into a
Gordian knot which is hard to unravel.  It has been years since
we have crossed the border into the USA.  Blood, guns and
lies keep piling on with no end in sight.

The play Damn Yankees restored the America of 1955.  A good
year just a decade after the end of a World War.  Optimistic nation. The play Damn
Yankees is a lot of fun…full of songs and terrific dancing.
The stage is converted into a mobile baseball stadium 
complete with a sweat swathed locker room. 

Damn Yankees ended with a standing ovation from the audience
made amusing when the devil, Applegate, tried to crawl under
the curtain to corrupt the audience in a most amusing way.

Lots of sex…both innocent and manipulating kind.  Captivating.

We came away from the theatre into the charm of one of
Canada’s great tourist centres…Niagara on the Lake.

About as sweet as a slice of ice cooled watermelon on a summer day,

alan






STORY LINE FOR DAMN YANKEES (NOT THAT YOU NEED IT)

SYNOPSIS  (NOT THAT YOU NEED IT)

Sometime in the Future: Washington, D.C. Act I Meg and Joe Boyd are middle aged, and happily married. Meg knows that Joe is a good and faithful husband but that he isn’t always hers. For “Six Months out of Every Year” he, like millions of other men, belongs to baseball. He is a fan of the perennially losing Washington Senators and he hates the fact that those “Damn Yankees” are going to win the American League pennant again this year. He would do anything not to let that happen again. He would even sell his soul to the devil! Out of nowhere a suave man, Mr. Applegate, appears and makes Joe an offer. If Joe will give him his soul, Mr. Applegate (a.k.a. The Devil) will make Joe the great long hitter that the Senators so desperately need. Joe is, of course, concerned for Meg, but as he’s always wanted to be a ballplayer he gives in to the temptation. However, being the real estate salesman that he is, he negotiates an escape clause – if he decides that he doesn’t want to give his soul to the Devil by September 24, he can still have it back. Mr. Applegate reluctantly agrees. Joe writes Meg a farewell note – “Goodbye, Old Girl.” He is transformed into a younger, more vibrant Joe – Joe Hardy. Joe and Applegate leave to make Joe’s dream come true. Outside the ball field, four Washington players sing their philosophy of baseball and life. They may not have the skill to beat the Yankees but they have something else – “Heart.” Mr. Applegate enters with Joe and convinces Van Buren, the coach, to give Joe a tryout. Joe, shoeless because the previous Joe’s feet were much smaller, borrows a pair of shoes from another ballplayer. All of this is witnessed by a pushy reporter and Senators’ fan, Gloria Thorpe, who at Applegate’s invitation watches Joe’s skillful playing. His tryout is spectacular and Gloria offers to help catapult Joe Hardy to superstar status by naming him “Shoeless Joe from Hannibal, Mo.” Joe becomes irritated by all the press attention, particularly from Gloria. All he wants to do is play baseball and help the Senators win. More than all of that, he realizes how much he misses Meg. Applegate, sensing that Joe may change his mind about his soul, calls in his secret weapon: Lola, formerly the ugliest woman in Providence, Rhode Island. Lola can do anything – all it takes is “A Little Brains, A Little Talent.” Meanwhile, Joe misses Meg so much that he goes back home and convinces her to rent him a room – “A Man Doesn’t Know.” Meg’s bridge partners recognize the great Joe Hardy and are quite impressed. Out of nowhere Applegate appears to inform Meg that there is a new zoning law prohibiting the rental of rooms in private homes. Joe takes Applegate outside to send him away. Applegate quickly informs him that Lola is here and is dying to meet him. He explains that he isn’t interested. Thanks to Joe, the Senators are on a winning streak, and after a great game Applegate brings Lola in to meet him. He wants to get home but Lola has other things in mind – after all, “Whatever Lola Wants” . . . Joe succeeds in convincing Lola that where he should be is home with Meg. Applegate appears and chastises Lola for her failure to seduce him. The Chevy Chase Fan Club rehearses a song for a dinner saluting Joe Hardy – “Heart” – reprise. Prior to the dinner, a repentant Lola tells Joe that she’s on his side. Gloria, on the other hand, has just returned from Hannibal, Mo., and no one there has ever heard of Joe Hardy. Applegate tells Gloria emphatically that Joe Hardy is not Shifty McCoy, the bribe-taking ballplayer in the Mexican league. Meanwhile, the salute to Joe is about to begin, and Lola and one of the players, Sohovik, do their number – “Who’s Got the Pain?” Soon Joe is informed that the newspapers are about to hit the streets saying that he took a bribe. The crowd is in an uproar. Joe tries to calm them down. Van Buren informs him that the baseball commissioner has set a hearing for the next day, September 24, and if he can’t prove who he really is, he’ll be cut from the team. Act II In the locker room, the players worry about winning a game without Joe’s help. They must not be distracted by anything like women or Joe’s hearing, or women, or booze, or women – they have to think about “The Game.” Without Joe, the Senators lose the game. Joe is worried that he won’t be able to clear his name and that Meg might lose respect for him. He calls her and they meet. Without revealing himself, he asks her if she thinks he’s Shifty McCoy. She says no. She knows she’s a good judge of character. That’s why she knows the other Joe, her Joe will return to her. Joe assures her that he (the other Joe) is “Near to You.” At his swanky apartment, Applegate tells Lola of his plans to have the Senators lose so that Joe has to stay and play beyond the date that had been set. For her part Lola feels bad for Joe. Joe arrives to tell Applegate of his decision: he wants out. Today is the 24th. Applegate says it isn’t as simple as that, these transformations can only take place at the witching hour – midnight! Applegate tells Joe that if at five minutes to midnight he still wants out, so be it. Joe asks what he is supposed to do if the hearing is still going on. Applegate tells him to just ask to step into the next room and once through that door Joe Hardy will disappear forever. Joe agrees. Lola repeats the litanies that Applegate has taught her: “Never feel sorry for anybody, never feel sorry for anybody.” Distressed by Lola’s attitude and Joe’s decision, Applegate reminisces about a time when evil things were a lot easier – “Those Were the Good Old Days.” At the hearing Joe is vindicated, thanks to an impassioned speech by Meg and her bridge friends. However, his vindication comes just as the clock strikes midnight. It’s too late for Joe to become his former self. Lola, for spite, has slipped four sleeping pills into an ecstatic Applegate’s demon rum, so he won’t wake up until after the game tomorrow. Joe’s soul is lost, but at least the Senators will win the American League pennant. To celebrate this little bit of happiness, Joe and Lola go out on the town – “Two Lost Souls.” The next day Applegate awakens to find the game already in progress. He berates Lola for her “good” deed and then asks her what the score is, “4 to 3, Washington,” is her reply. Applegate assures her that Washington will lose the game even if he has to transform Joe in front of everyone. However, before that, he transforms Lola back to her former ugly self. At the game, Applegate and the ugly Lola watch as the Senators are about to clinch the pennant. Not being able to allow himself to be outwitted by Joe, Applegate transforms him as a ball is hit in his direction. The transformation takes place and the old Joe stumbles, but, at the last moment, he regains his balance and strength and catches the ball. The Senators win the game. Back at home the old Joe is welcomed by a relieved and happy Meg and despite the protestations of Applegate, Meg and Joe find the comfort they cherish in each other – “A Man Doesn’t Know.”

EPISODE 596 BENARES…MUSIC ON THE VERANDAH, JUNE 2022

EPISODE   596    BENARES…MUSIC ON THE VERANDAH, June 2022


alan skeoch
June 13,2022

Benares Historic House – Arts and culture



Benares Historic House – Arts and culture

Benares Historic House, Mississauga | DestiMap | Destinations On Map


“Marjorie, would you and Alan like to attend a music concert at Benares?”, asked Janis Alton
“When?”
“Every Friday evening for the whole summer…different performers…this Friday
the Temple Band is coming…30 musicians…big brass band.”
“How much does it cost?”
“Nothing…they pass the hat at intermission, most people give a $10 donation.”
“Big crowd?”
“Varies but usually around 70 people….concert has a nice feeling of community…you
can sit on the grass but most people bring their own chair.”

“Benares is an odd name…strange…is it a house or a barn or a music hall?”
“It’s a grand Georgian mansion built in 1835 by a retired English officer 
…Benares is a city in Indian where he served.  Benares looks like an American pre Civil War
 spiffy home…pillars and grand entrance…hard to describe but
sure worth seeing.”
“Private property, I imagine?”
“Nope.  Owned by the City of Mississauga.  Restored.  Hidden away really.  Most 
people do not even know it exists.

“Are open air concerts common?”
“In the summer, ‘when the living is easy,” as the song says.”
“What song?”
“Old Man Rover/  “push that barge, tote that bail, get a little drunk and you land in jail.”
‘Get serous.”
“I am serious.  Next Friday, June 16, the Burlington Welsh Male Chorus is coming…Welsh folk songs, Hymns,
even opera…”
“Like the Men from the Welsh coal mines in How Green Was My Valley’?”
“Imagine so.”

SO WE WENT TO BENARES — TO HEAR THE TEMPLE BAND — AND NEXT WEEK WE’LL SPEND
FRIDY EVENING BEING SERENADED BY THE BURLINGTON WELSH MALE CHORUS.
(and every Friday for the whole summer, a different musical performance….outdooor on  the grass
for  a suggested $10 donation….1507 Clarkson Road North – 905 625 4860)











“Any refreshments?”
“Cold drinks and sweet stuff “
“Parking?”
“Free parking…get here early though…6.30, performances begin at 7 p.m.”

“Hey, that mansion looks wonderful.  Are there tours?”
“Rich history to the place…no room here for that…Tours in daytime”
“How did Mississauga get the place?”
“Donated….given to the City of Mississauga by the Sayers family…it was
once their home.   “
“Couldn’t you tell a bit about the place?”
“No time right now, I am re reading How Green Was My Valley…you know
my mom was Welsh…I actually saw the miners coming up from the coal pits
near Aberdare…they were singing.  Really singing.  Sometimes history is not
exaggerated.”

alan skeoch
June 13m 2022

EPISODE 596 “OF BARNS AND TURTLES — AN UNCERTAIN FUTURE”

EPISODE 596   OF BARNS AND TURTLES — AN UNCERTAIN FUTURE


alan skeoch
June 11, 2022






“Too much change is not good for the soul, Marjorie.”
“What made you say that ungodly thing Alan?’

“We have seen too much change, why can’t our wold stand still?”
“Indeed, why cannot our small corner of the planet resist the turmoil of change?

June 11, 2022 and we were driving to the farm taking a less
travelled road up the Sixth line, northern corner of Halton  County en route
top our farm.   Change was coming with the speed of summer lightning.
Not all bad.  Not at all bad, I suppose/  Homes, warehouses, factories, 
a gas power plant….places we all love and need.  I suppose.

But standing…barely standing…not long  to remain standings was this
derelict barn.   One large corner ripped open.  A mortal wound.
No longer does it house the horses we saw there just a couple of 
years ago.   No milking cows of long long ago.  The house still
stands with broken windows and nailed shut doorways.  The family
gone.    A farm no more.   

Worth a short drive just to see this.  Better world to come.   We hope
and pray.  Urban community with jobs and schools and plazas being 
built as we drive.  But something is lost.

Then a  real reminder happened.



Reminder of change appeared in front of our truck.

“Alan, snapping turtle on the road.”
“Stop the truck,I’ll get him or her into the deep grass.”
“Watch out, snapping turtles have long necks and sharp mouths.”
“Just lift it with the toe of my boot….over and over…tumbling.”
“Don’t hurt it.”
“Better my boot than a truck tire.”
“Sad…the turtle has no place to go…home being bulll dozed…ponds being drained.”
“If the snapper can reach Sixteen Mile Creek, there is hope…the Creek is large
and cannot be disturbed.”
“Why is it on the road anyway?”
“June is turtle egg laying time I believe.”
“Not much hope for baby snapping turtles around here.”




“Couldn’t we get the poor thing in a box and release it in our ponds?”
“Good idea…should have done that.”
“Not sure Woody the dog would be happy with the snapping turtle waddling around in
the back of the truck.

We drove on

alan

EPISODE 595 STONEY FARM … LEGAY OF THE ICE AGE

EPISODE 595    STONEY FARM…LEGACY OF  THE ICE AGE


alan skeoch
June 2022

As I have said many times, “Our best crop is stones…they come up every year”




SOMETIMES  forced labour was used to control this unwanted…unloved..stone crop.  In this case Ron Saunders brought
his back hoe Excavator to clear out the old pond which was really a swamp in front of the old barn on the Freeman farm.  We planned a bigger pond
after my jerry built barn replacement had collapsed into a pile of rubble. 

The project seemed like a good idea to everyone except for dad, Arnold Red Skeoch, who announced to all and sundry
that the whole project was “goddamned stupid waste of time and money”/   Dad often spoke in opposite.  If he said something
was goddamn stupid then he might mean it was interesting.



Here is what the same site looks like today….June 9, 2022.   Time has a habit of totally changing landscapes.  Rest assured, however, that the
stones are still there just under the surface.  Stones are pushed up by the first each year…they look like hard mushrooms in springtime and play havoc
with the blade of the John Deere mower.



This is Arnold Red Skeoch smoking a White Owl Invincible … amused at the pond project.





These are the unpaid labourers who were dragooned into picking stones.  DAvid, Kevin, Andrew and Robert Skeoch. (Skeoch boys, bottom to top)


Hidden photo taken of the labour crew.



Marjorie, Deana, Mom (Elsie Freeman))

The pile of lumber is the ruin of my first (and only) effort at barn building.  My barn stood
for about two months then collapsed .

EPISODE 594 BBEES, BEARS, AND MICE

EPISODE 594      BEES, BEARS, AND MICE


alan skeoch
June 5, 2022


4,610 American Black Bear Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images -  iStock

BEEKEEPING … NOT THAT EASY

Our son Andrew became a beekeeper this year. And he had
success .   Two hives became three hives and honey
production was harvested.   New bee hives…clean homes
for the Queens and their thousands of worker bees.

When winter came, Andrew slipped covers over the hives.  
Nice and warm.
Tp dissuade skinks and other honey loving wild animals
he built a ire mesh wall around the bee yard.

The bees almost made it through the winter.   Almost.
Spring was on the distant horizon when Andrew found
one of his hives had been destroyed by a mouse or a
bunch of mice.  

Only one hive survived this attack.  He packed them up
and moved them into his drive shed.  Away from the bee 
yard which had become a bee cemetery..  But mice found
the surviving hive and ate his bees and his honey.

He will not give up.  Three new bee colonies are on
the way from the United States as I write this sad note.
Andrew remains optimistic that he can solve the problems
To assist him he has the advice of Russ Vanstone, a skilled
bee keeper for decades.  Russ has seen all the problems. No doubt
when he reads this Episode he will respond with advice and may
even make location suggestions.   

But I am not too sure that the bee yard can be rescued.
Bill Brooks,  our nearby farm machine mechanic slipped
me a copy of the Halton Hills Indpendent and Free Press dated
May 26, 2022, article by Herb Garbutt.

“…when Ray Lavender went to check on his three hives near
his house just north of Acton” they had all been nocked over
and there were large claw marks on them.  Claw marks..big ones.
A bear had
dropped by.

So what?  So the same bear may pay a visit.Andrew’s hives are
also located just north of  Acton.   The smell of honey could
bring the bear to Andrew’s bee yard.   And if he moves the
bee yard close to the barn that would mean big trouble.

There have been 35 sightings of bears (or a bear) in the
Guelph regions and 10 of these sightings were close to 
Acton.

Remember the childhood story about Algie?
“Algie met a bear
And the bear was bulge
And the bulge was Algie”

So what should Andrew do if he meets the bear?
“…slowly back away while watching and waiting for it 
to leave.  If you are near a car or building, get inside”
Then wait for the bear to leave.  Once gone, remove  the
food he or she was after.

One question, I must ask Andrew and Russ: “How can Andrew be
sure it was mouse that got his bees.  Might it have been the
Acton bear?  Bears move around but also stay around.

I have met quite a few bears in my lifetime.  No trouble.  They
slip away or are too busy eating blueberries or garbage to
get aggressive.   Not an animal to pet though.  As a joke my
friend Wick (Terry Wickstrom) visited an island on Lake of the
Woods when the kids were small.  “Would you boys like to go
bear hunting?”  They agreed.  The island was small, perhaps
a couple of acres.   Forested;  We pretended to hunt a bear.
Big joke!  At the blueberry patch we found a nice pile of bear
dung.  Fresh!  FRESH!  A bear was really on the island.

We backed our way to the boat and got off the island.
No problem fortunately.

Andrew was small at the time.  He could have become
Algie, I suppose.

alan


EPISODE 593 LEFT HANDED and WHISTLING…. 1953

Note: I was asked yesterday how long it takes to write these episodes.  It varies.
This one took a lot of time.  I deleted examples of personal success because it
sounded too much like bragging.  My view
was that the elation of success came from overcoming obstacles.



EPISODE 593     LEFT HANDED and WHISTLING….  1953


alan skeoch
june 2022


Little finger, left hand…wired back in place at St. Joseph’s hospital…a blessing.


Touch thumb of left hand to scarred baby finger…FOUND MY LEFT HAND.


SEPTEMBER 1953 WAS NOT A GOOD MONTH FOR ME

The fall of 1953 was not a very good year for me,  My first year in high school should have been 
exciting but instead it was frightening.  Someone got access to my locker and scribbled
‘Fuck You’ on my textbooks. It wasNot difficult to figure who gave out my combination 
 since all Grade 9 students had to share a locker.  I shared
with a boy who was not very friendly.  He gave out my combination.   The graffiti was disturbing but an even nastier
 note came next: “Go to Western Tech after school we have a guy who wants to beat the
shit out of you.”.  Who were these guys?  I never found out.  And I was not stupid enough to go
to Western Tech to get a beating.

It was very hard  to Whistle a Happy Tune in this circumstance.  Seemed that the threats
were coming from my friends.  Hardly friends.  The hatred might have been linked to the cigarette
smoking incident on the way to school .  My chums always stopped part way to light up cigarettes.
I swiped three Craven A’s from Fran who was the pharmacist in Hertell’s Drug Store where
 I was a 35 ents an hour delivery boy..Next day I  Took a puff and butted the cigarette
Why am I doing this?  Seemed stupid so I gave my chums the Craven A’s.
That act may have turned friends into enemies.  Then again it may not have done that.  I will
never know why some friends suddenly hated me.   But I was scared.  Alone in a new school 
with enemies.   Not a nice situation. 

So I joined the football team and made new friends like Russ Vanstone and Jim Romaniuk and a
whole bunch  of others.   I was not a football hero.  Couldn’t be because I had trouble telling right
from left and the coach used right and left often.  I became a left guard on offence and a
left linebacker on defence.  Second string that first year. Terrified the coach would call
me from the bench because i feared I would foul up.

Note: I am left handed.  In Kent Public School the teachers tried to ‘break me’…to
make me right handed.  I guess it did not work very well so I was allowed to reman
left handed.  In the right left…left right…right left …confusion I was never able to
know right from left.  That was one severe handicap in life.  Only experienced by
a few left handers.  About 10% of children are left handed.  

Being odd.  In other words being left=handed made me nervous in sports.  Just try to us
a  glove for right handers in baseball, The glove goes on the left hand.   This means
that a left handed person has to catch the ball with his left hand then transfer the ball to
his right hand…throw off the glove…then pass the ball to the now bare
left hand before throwing the ball.  Sufficei  it to say that my baseball career
was deep in centre field where i hoped and prayed no batter would
ever direct the ball.   I envied right handers.  Tried to hide my handicap.

Now this gets me back to that first year playing football at Humberside.  Second string
sitting on the bench.  Assigned as a left guard whose position is so hidden that no one
ever noticed me as a left hander..   Just get the ball carrier and hurl him to the ground.. No one really cared in 
the general mayhem …
Not much danger of discovery because my first year on the team was spent sitting on the bench
Fine.  That’s where I wanted to be.  Out of the limelight.  .

The coach did not even know my name. Anonymity has its merits.  But I was nervous
even on the bench.  So nervous that i fell back on my favourite therapy…the song.

Whenever I feel aground
I hold my head erect
And whistle a happy tune
So no one will suspect
I’m afraid.

That song helped wen I was doored by a car in the summer of 1953.  I whistled my
way home with my left arm dangling due to broken clavicle.

But its sure did not work in my first year on the football team.  I don’t expect many
of you could empathize with my  disastrous whistling as I dressed in the locker room.
Shoulder pads, jock strap, boots with cleats , helmet capable of taking impact without
giving a concussion.  The banter in the locker room was not relaxing.  So I whistled
a happy tune.

“Who is whistling?”. demanded the coach
“WHO IS WHISTLING?,  he demanded louder and the room went silient.
“Who was whistling?”
“It was me, sir.” I am not sure whether I spoke, maybe I just raised my hand.
“You…come over here..stand up on that bench.”
Then the coach looked over the team..the silent team.  Seemed as if the world suddenly 
ceased to orbit the sun.
“Over confidence.  Being overconfident in football game leads to failure in a
team.  I do not want to see overconfidence ever again.  There iwill be no whistling
before our football games.  Hear me. “
I will never forget the humiliation I felt standing on that bench .  Never.  The whole team
looked at as if I was a loser…as if I was a liability….
I hoped there was someone who understood me…understood that I was the 
farthest thing from being overconfident.  Humiliated. Embarrassed. But I did not cry.
Tears would have really made me look like a total loser.  God I was glad
my tear ducts held the water back as I stepped down from the bench.

Note: The coach was not a bad man. There are two ways to interpret whistling.
 His way…i.e. overconfidence.  My way…i.e. scared to death I would not measure up.

That first year on the team was not good.  But no one wanted to beat the 
shit out of me.

There was another embarrassment that year when the coach called for quiet
before a game.

“Listen up boys, we have a problem.”
The room went silent.  Respect to the coach.
“Our quarterback has forgotten his spikes,,,his football shoes.”
We all looked at the quarterback…the brains of the team.  He gave a nervous
grin.
“One of you boys is going to have to give up his boots for the sake of the team.
Would like a volunteer.”
Doing something for the good of others seemed a holy duty…so I raised my
hand.

“Dave can have my boots, sir.”
The coach came over to my corner and looked at my boots.
“Sorry these boots are not good enough.  Any one else willing >”

My boots were bad.  Old with leather cracks so deep that
the boots seemed ready to crack into fragments…deep cracks.
Cracks so bad that just putting them on my feet was a painful 
excercise.   But I volunteered for the sake of the team and ended up
rejected once again.    Not as bad as being asked to stand on a bench
but bad enough.   

Sitting on the bench ended when my good ftirned Jim Romaniuk pointed at
me when the coach was looking for a second stringer  when the
first one got hurt.  

“OK Skeoch, get in there.”
Jesus, he knew my name.  That was the beginning of a change.  I wa still plenty nervous
right and left confusion.  The coach taught us how to take a ball carrier down
with shoestring tackles.   Grab him by the lower legs.  Clench.  He will fall for sure.

  ‘Skeoch, you wil be left guard.”
 “Yes sir.”
 “Keep your steps short and your legs bent….power ready”

The coach showed me where to put my feet…my head….every move…short
choppy steps that would allow me to use all the power in my body to open a ole for our fullback
with the ball.

I got good at throwing cross body blocks….

STRANGEST RESOLUTION OF LEFT RIGHT CONFUSION….THE CROSS BODY BLOCK

“Make your whole body fly sidewise through the air to cut down anyone challenging our ball
carriers.”     This ‘cross body block’ changed my life somewhat.
.When I Threw my body in one game at an outside corner backer.  Took him down smoothly.   Unfortunately my hand was flat on the ground as I fell
and our half back tromped with his spiked boots on my bare hand.  Smashed my baby finger.  Left hand.

Changed my life.  A doctor at St. Josephs’s hospital cut the finger open…the bones 
realigned and a wire implanted down the centre for a few months.   My left hand.  My writing
hand was immobile.   Not so good for taking notes in Grade 13  But very good for my left right handicap.
I now could find a bump on my left hand with my left thumb. (see illustration) No more confusion as long as 
I had time to move my thumb to my little finger.  That rather silly movement remains with me
to this day. Touching thumb to baby finger has become A reflex.



A HAPPY CIRCUMSTANCE

So there is a happy ending to the story.
The same coach who had me stand on the locker room bench for my whistling nominated me for both the
All Star Football teams in Toronto.  Two very great honours.  


And last month, May 2022, members of that old football team met once again as we do twice a year.  Friends…good friends.  Touch thumb to finger…a constant reminder of the good times.
(Burlington Country club.  Picture taken for John Futa, back of photo,  who was offensive end, left or right end?…not sure which it was.)   I WONDER HOW MANY ARE LEFT HANDED?


alan skeoch
June 2022

Post Script:  The finger operation is hard to forget.  It did not go smoothly.  The nurse began shaving my
right arm in prepartion for surgery.  “Why are you doing that?”  “To get you ready for surgery.” “But the injury
is on my left arm!” She looked at the chart and said “Sorry, wrong arm.”

Then I was wheeled on a gurney and waited for the surgery.  Waited quite some time. I had been given
a local anesthetic that wore off by the time the surgery was ready.  I remember the room to this day.
There were observers looking down from an open space above the operating table.  I screamed when
the first cut was made.  “How long has this boy been in the hall?  Anastheitc has worn off.”  So he gave
me another shot.  I remember his name but think best not to say it.  After cut, repair and stitch I went
home on the street car with a kind of throbbing pain and a reddening cast.  Not pleasant at all.

And, foolishly, I continued to play football with the cast on my hand and a wire through the little finger bones.
Made one of my best tackles that day.  Shoestring tackle.  Days of  glory.

POST SCRIPT

ON BEING LEFT HANDED…THE LATEST WORD

How Rare Are Lefties? 

1/12 
Right-handed people dominate the world, and it’s been that way since the Stone Age. How do we know? Researchers figured it out by measuring the arm bones in ancient skeletons and by examining wear patterns in prehistoric tools. In Western countries, lefties make up only about 10% of the population. Folks who favor different hands for different tasks (mixed handed) or who use both hands with equal skill (ambidextrous) are uncommon.

Genetic Roots 

2/12 
Scientists have long known that handedness is partly shaped by genes. But it wasn’t until 2019 that they identified differences in parts of the DNA of left- and right-handers. The study, which also analyzed brain scans of 9,000 British subjects, found that in lefties, the parts of the right and left sides of the brain that process language work in better tandem. Whether that makes left-handers more fluent speakers is still to be investigated.

Handedness in the Womb 

3/12 
Fetuses start to move their arms around 9-10 weeks. By early in the second trimester, the babies show a clear preference for sucking one thumb over the other. So handedness is probably hardwired before birth. Still, most development experts say parents likely won’t get a good sense of their child’s dominant hand until age 2 or 3. Many kids continue to switch hands for different tasks during early childhood.

Mixed Dominant Hands 

4/12 
Studies show that non-right-handed students are much more likely to struggle in school and have ADHD symptoms. That may be particularly true for those who are mixed-handed or ambidextrous. One study found that children who switch hands back and forth are about twice as likely to have dyslexia. Researchers don’t know exactly why. But they suspect that having an inconsistent dominant hand may be a bigger problem than consistent left-handedness.

Superior Lefties? 

5/12 
Your brain’s right side controls muscles on the left side of your body and largely drives musical and spatial abilities. That may be why left-handers often hold more than their share of slots in creative professions. Mirror writing, where letters are reversed and written backward, is almost always done with the left hand. Some studies show that left-handed children score higher on verbal reasoning or are more likely to be in gifted programs. But other research differs.

Handedness and Age 

6/12 
In an interesting experiment with right-handed seniors, researchers found that the subjects relied less and less on their dominant hand the older they got. As their right hands grew slower and unsteady, the elderly people handled some of the tasks just as well with their left hands. But they still all saw themselves as strong righties.

Handedness and Athletics 

7/12 
Lefties appear to have an edge in sports like boxing or fencing, where they might surprise opponents used to facing off against mostly right-handers. In some years, nearly half of Major League Baseball’s All-Star roster has been southpaws or switch hitters. But that may be due less to athletic talent than to practical advantages like the fact that left-handed hitters stand closer to first base.

Brain Disorders 

8/12 
There’s a well-established link between left-handedness and mental conditions like schizophrenia, which can cause hallucinations and impaired thinking. A large recent study in the U.K. found a strong link between regions of the brain involved in handedness and how likely you are to have mood swings, restlessness, and neuroticism, a personality type marked by anxiety and fear that sometimes can veer into mental disorder.

Humans vs. Apes 

9/12 
We’re not the only animals with a handedness trait. Researchers watching wild chimps found they favor their left hands twice as often when fishing for termites. And the same was largely true for chimpanzees raised in captivity. But results were different for nut-cracking. For that task, which requires sheer force instead of the fine motor skills needed for extracting insects, wild chimps were much more likely to favor their right hands.

Forced Right-Handedness 

10/12 
Cultural biases against left-handers has existed throughout history. In the Middle Ages, the devil was believed to be a lefty. In Japan, China, and other Asian countries, the percentage of left-handers is much smaller than in the West. American teachers and doctors in the early 1900s believed that left-handers were more prone to mental disorders and pressured students to switch hands.

Famous Lefties 

11/12 
Four of the six most recent U.S. presidents were lefties: Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, and Barack Obama. Celebrity southpaws include Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, Tom Cruise, Paul McCartney, Prince Charles, and his son, Prince William. 

Tools for Lefties 

12/12 
If you’re a righty and ever used your left hand to cut with scissors, you know it’s awkward. Lefties can find a growing number of products for the kitchen, office, and elsewhere that are designed with them in mind. You can buy knives with the sharpened edge on the right side of the blade for cleaner slicing. Or a measuring cup with unit labels that face you when you hold it in your left hand.  



EPISODE 584 WHY THE DELAY?

EPISODE 584 WHY THE DELAY?
alan skeoch June 4, 2022
I was shocked and flattered at the meeting of the Castlefield Institute on Thursday when John Wardle presented me with a gift of a large imitation of the sculptured “Thinker”. As a result I am working on a story about several trials in my life. No big deal. I know stories that are self congratulatory seldom are read. Who cares? This story, if I have the nerve to send it, might be understood best by left handers who are only 10% of the human population and forced to get along in a right handed world. That can be very difficult. In my case, I still have trouble telling left from right. To do so quickly I must move my thumb on my left hand to touch my baby finger which was smashed and rebuilt as a result of a high school football injury. Now done as a reflex. In the end there is triumph which some readers might find cloying. (Is cloying a word?)
Thanks John for your thoughtfulness as always.
alan

EPISODE 592 “TEN MARRIAGE LICENCES HAVE DISAPPEARED, ALAN’

EPISODE 592 :   “Ten marriage licences have disappeared, alan!”


alan skeoch\may 31, 20022


Great Seal of Ontario - Wikipedia

THE GREAT SEAL OF ONTARIO…SOLID SILVER


My first big job.   Why should you be interested in this story?  Well, maybe it will
trigger thoughts of your first job.  Or maybe it will be so self serving that you
will be disgusted with this 582nd Episode in my Covid 19 diary.  I will try
to be self deprecating and hopefully avoid self inflating arrogance.   Credit to authors 
of I Whistle  a Happy Tune.

MY FIRST BIG TIME JOB

“Alan, how woulld you like a summer job?”
“And everyday job?”
“Yes, a very important job.”
“How come?”
“Vic Couling phoned and says there is an opening at Queen’s Park for an office boy.”
“In a Park….ad office boy in  park.  Sounds weird.”
“The job is in the Ontario Parliament building in Queen’s Park.”
“No sunshine there.”
“I already told Vi Couling you would take the job.”
“Can I get tp Queen’s Park on my bike, mom?”
“You can try…long way though.”




Ontario Legislative Building At Queens Park In Toronto Canada Stock Photo -  Download Image Now - iStock
IN 1953, RJ CUDNEY’S OFFICE WAS ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE DOORWAY TO 
THE PARLIAMENT BUILDINGS.  MY LITTLE OFFICE WAS ON THE LEFT SIDE OF
THAT GRAND OPENING.  MADE ME FEEL IMPORTANT.



I was 13 years old. Just finished Grade 8 at Runnymede Public School and heading
for Grade 9 at Humberside.  Just a kid.   My job that summer was very important.

“Alan, you will be handling the Great Seal of Ontario.  Pressing the seal on important documents…
And pressing seals on Ontario marriage licenses.  And you will press the hot wax seal on all Letters Patent
and in addition all letters of congratulation for senior citizens.”

Great Seal of Ontario - Wikipedia
The Great seal of Ontario…solid silver, large as a tea plate


Holy Samoley, I thought, this is big time.  My boss was R.J. Cudney, then Deputy Provincial
Secretary for the Government of Ontario.  A very reserved, impeccably dressed, dignified, and 
super busy man.  His office was on the left side of the Parl’t Bjuildings.  My tiny office was on
the right.  Smack dab in the heart of Queen’s Park.




I found a stick of the sealing wax I used on Letters {agent….and special notes to my grandmother Freeman on the Fifth Line of Erin Twp.


Wax seals cracked wth age unless quickly framed.





The seal used on marriage licenses.  Hard to forget that seal.


Took the job seriously.  Handling the Great Seal of Ontario was a serious task.  No one got
married that summer of 1953 without me pressing the Seal in their marriage licence.
No company got incorporated without me weaving a deep blue ribbon in the top left corner
and then dropping hot red wax and pressing a tiny seal on the ribbons.   Really fancy job which
I took very seriously.

  I also did some blank documents with the seals
on them which I mailed often to my grandmother and grandfather
on their farm.  Grandma loved getting these illicit documents.  “The mail man thinks we are
very important people when he saw the blue ribbon inside the 
envelope from Queen’s Park.”

GETTING DOORED ON ST. GEORGE STREET…NOT PLEASANT.

And each day it would take me an hour to cycle from West Toronto to my new office
Found a bunch of side streets with less rush hour traffic.  Never late.  Tried to be
dependable.  I felt very  important.

St . George Street could not be avoided, unfortunately. Especially during 5 pm rush hour.   Dangerous
because no one expected a 13 year old boy on a Humber Sports three geared racer to
be driving along in the gutter.   What if someone opened the passenger door?   Well, someone did.
A woman.  The half open door was like a guillotine.   I was ‘doored’.  My left shoulder
took the impact as I tumbled under the car.   The woman said, “Are you hurt?” Bravely and falsely
I said. “No, I will be OK.”  Not the truth.  My left arm was just not right..  The door had severed my
clavicle.  The woman did not care, really,.  She asked the question with no real concern
 and got away. Same with the driver…I was a delay. The traffic resumed. And I had to face
the problem of getting home with a broken clavicle…one armed.What to do?  The music from the
King and I,  Hollywood movie with Deborah Kerr and Yul Brinner helped a lot.  I hummed and
sang:

“Whenever I feel afraid
I hold my head erect
And whistle a happy tune
So no one will suspect
I’m afraid”

If only I could get home.  Mom would know what to do.  Hoped no hospital involved . 
But first I had to get home.  My bike was a bit wobbly into the bargain.  Mom got Dr. Greenaway to
harness me in a sling.  “Broken but not dislocated.  Be fine in a few weeks.” Recovery Took less time
than that because riding the streetcar to Queen’s Park was a bit of nightmare.    Crowded
at rush hours.  Cheek to jowl.   Worse, it was leg to leg.  One man pressed so tightly to me
that it felt like his hand was in my pocket.  Stop. “His hand is in my pocket’”  What to do about it.
If dad was with the pervert would get a quick fist to the jaw.  Or worse.  But I was alone and 13
years old.  My first contact with a pervert.  So I just jumped off the street car and caught the next.

In spite of being doored, it seemed safer on my bike than in a crowded street car.

What rush hour used to look like on the TTC
TTC rush hour crowd on Toronto subway in 1953…same thing on street cars


THE MISSING MARRIAGE LICENCES

I Think my arm, was still in a sling when Mr Cudney, called RJ behind his back, called me to
his office one morning.  One of my duties was to fill his water thermos each day.  The office
was big and dark with leather covered chairs and couches.  

I thought he wanted to look at my arm.   But I was wrong.

“Sit down, Alan, I would like to ask you a serious question.”
“yes sir.”
“There are ten marriage licences missing.  These are serious documents.  Did you
by chance mislay them?
“No sir, I did not.”  Did RJ know I had sent blank notes to grandma with the great seal?
“Tell me how  you handle  marriage licences.”
“They come in batches of 250 which I keep at my desk.  When I need more I get
them from the Queen’s Printer office.”
“Each is numbered?”
“Yes.”
“Do you look at the numbers?”
“No.”
“So you would not notice a discrepancy.?”
“No sir, never thought about it.”
“I believe you son, but had to ask.  I think the error was made in the numbering
system.  A blip…skipped ten.  “
(RJ looked at me…with a little guilt in his eyes.)
“I heard about your arm.  Would it not be safer on the streetcar?”
(I kept my mouth shut.  Did not tell RJ about the pervert’s hand in my pocket.}

“Later in the summer, I would like you to protect the Great Seal of Ontario at the CNE, Alan.
It will be a night job from 10 pm to 6 AM. “
(I was flattered.  From suspicion to trust in one conversation.)


CNE Midway, ca. 1957
In 1953 the CNE grounds were packed with people.  From midnight to 6 a.m. there was no one around except a wandering
security guard.

“Mom, the night job is really nice.  I am the only person in the government
building except for the security man.  In the centre they keep live examples of Ontario
wild life.  and huge water tanks with live  fish….big ones…Northern Pike and Lake Trout
all full-size.  And one booth has an electric train with advertising on the cars.  I am allowed
to test it . (At least I think so).  But the best part mom are the rats.  I hide behind a pillar and count
to fifty, then pop my head around the pillar.  Rats!  coloured…brown, black and beige.  They see 
me and dive into the holes in the open courtyard.”

”What about protecting the Great Seal Ontario.”

“Always keep my eye on it.  Solid silver.  Heavy.”

END…summer of 1953.  

What would a 13 year old boy want with ten marriage licences>?

I wonder how many Ontario corporations know their letters patent were sealed by a 13 year old boy?
I wonder how many people married in the summer of 1953 know their marriage licence was made official
by  13 year boy ?
I wonder now many people know that the Great Seal of Ontario was guarded by a 13 year old boy?
I wonder what happened to those ten missing marriage licences?  Useless because they were  never sealed.
I wonder if the woman who ‘doored’ me felt guilty…or was it my own fault.
I wonder why that pervert wanted to put his hand in my pocket.  Shudder!
I wonder how many 13 year old boys or girls ever were so trusted.

POST SCRPT

Lyrics
Whenever I feel afraid
I hold my head erect
And whistle a happy tune
So no one will suspect I’m afraid
While shivering in my shoes
I strike a careless pose
And whistle a happy tune
And no one ever knows I’m afraid
The result of this deception
Is very strange to tell
For when I fool the people
I fear I fool myself as well
I whistle a happy tune
And every single time
The happiness in the tune
Convinces me that I’m not afraid
Make believe you’re brave
And the trick will take you far
You may be as brave
As you make believe you are
You may be as brave
As you make believe you are
While shivering in my shoes
I strike a careless pose
And whistle a happy tune
And no one ever knows I’m afraid
The result of this deception
Is very strange to tell
For when I fool the people
I fear I fool myself as well
I whistle a happy tune
And every single time
The happiness in the tune
Convinces me that I’m not afraid
Make believe you’re brave
And the trick will take you far
You may be as brave
As you make believe you are
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Oscar Hammerstein Ii / Richard Rodgers
I Whistle a Happy Tune lyrics © Williamson Music





EPISODE 591 one lone front…4 huge ponds…say it isn’t so!


episode 591    one lone front…four large ponds….say it isn’t so!

alan skeoch
May 29, 2022

Here we are at the end of May, year 2021. Four huge ponds and all I could find was this 
one lone leopard frog.  Each year I hope the frogs will return and the ponds become rich
in frog jelly about this time of year….and shortly rich in tadpole life.  But so far
I have one lone front and fear the arrival of a blue heron who is an excellent fisherbrid
with a long stiletto beak.  Which if another ooncern.  I have only seen one blue heron
overflying our ponds.  In the past there were many.  This sixth extinction conversation is
getting $%$%^ frightening.  (submit your own curse word)

 

And another thing.  Woody our dog can swim in the ponds without fear of leeches.   As can we.  There are no leeches anymore.


Another strange thing.  My one lone frog did not jump.  It allowed me to get close for a picture.
Then it jumped when my camera got about 10 inches from its head.  Not a very wise frog.  Not
likely to survive I fear.



Am I the onel  one to notice…the only person concerned about the rapid die off of frogs.?  Not so.  Scientist have
been concerned ever  since Rachel Carson.   Lots of articles.   But no solution.   Do not buy frogs
from pet stores and then release them in your pond.  Spreads diseases of frogs.  My brother, Eric, has
a tiny pond …bathtub size…distant from any other water source.  And yet, the frogs found his pond
and thrived.  Why not our four ponds?  I have no idea.   

Climate change may boost frog disease chytridiomycosis

By Richard Black
Environment correspondent, BBC News

Published
Cuban tree frogichef.bbci.co.uk/news/320/mcs/media/images/62161000/jpg/_62161771_z7000929-cuban_treefrog-spl.jpg 320w, ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/480/mcs/media/images/62161000/jpg/_62161771_z7000929-cuban_treefrog-spl.jpg 480w, ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/mcs/media/images/62161000/jpg/_62161771_z7000929-cuban_treefrog-spl.jpg 624w, ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/800/mcs/media/images/62161000/jpg/_62161771_z7000929-cuban_treefrog-spl.jpg 800w, ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/mcs/media/images/62161000/jpg/_62161771_z7000929-cuban_treefrog-spl.jpg 976w” src=”https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/304/mcs/media/images/62161000/jpg/_62161771_z7000929-cuban_treefrog-spl.jpg” width=”304″ height=”304″ loading=”lazy” class=”ee0ct7c0 ssrcss-1drmwog-Image” style=”margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant-caps: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; display: flex; width: 800px; height: 800px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; inset: 0px; -webkit-box-pack: center; justify-content: center; -webkit-box-align: center; align-items: center; object-fit: cover;”>
Image caption, 

The Cuban tree frog is one of many species affected by the fungal disease chytridiomycosis
More changeable temperatures, a consequence of global warming, may be helping to abet the threat that a lethal fungal disease poses to frogs.
Scientists found that when temperatures vary unpredictably, frogs succumb faster to chytridiomycosis, which is killing amphibians around the world.
The animals’ immune systems appear to lose potency during unpredictable temperature shifts.
The research is published in Nature Climate Change journal.
Chytridiomycosis, caused by the parasitic fungus Batrachochytrium dendrobatidis (Bd), was identified only in 1998.
It affects frogs and their amphibian relatives – salamanders, and the worm-like caecilians – and has caused a number of species extinctions.

EPISODE 590 JUST HOW MUCH DOES A NEW TRACTOR COST? MAY 28, 2022?

EPISODE  590    JUST HOW MUCH DOES A NEW TRACTOR COST?  MAY 28, 2022?

alan skeoch
may 28,2022

A STRANGE THyING HAPPENED ON THE FIFTH LINE TODAY.  I was out at the farm mailbox looking at the
rocks we had removed from our 25 acre farm.  Not really a farm.  25 acres is not a farm.   As a matter of 
fact 100 acres is no longer a farm.   How many acres makes  a farm these days?   Anthony Acres, a large
commercial farm down the Fifth line rent 12,000 acres from landowners near the GTA.  Now that is a farm.
Yes, 12,000 acres.

As I was thinking about the change in agriculture, I heard something thundering down the line.



A big JOhn Deere tractor with hydraulic rollers was passing.   I took a fast picture.

The the strangest thing happened.   The driver put on the brakes and backed up to where I was standing.
“Dp want a picture of yourself on the machine?”, he said.  “You bet , I do.”


I climbed h ladder into the cab.  The young man snapped my picture then continued his way down the
line to a field near Highway 7 that needed rolling to keep the stones from destroying the cylinder of
the combine next fall.   Pushed the stones back down into the earth from whence they came.  Delivered thousands of
years ago by the ice sheet that covered Ontario.  Ice moves.  Ice grinds rocks into boulders. Boulders into stones.


That set me to thinking.   How much does a tractor like that cost?  Really cost.  The young farmer was not too
sure but ventured a figure of $200,00 dollars with attachments like the roller or a multi furrow plough or a stone picker.

He was correct.   A 100 horsepower John Deere tractor costs somewhere between $100,000 to $150,000 dollar brand new.
Holy Samoley!  Anthony Acres have several of these plus attachments and several combine harvesters.  That is well over
a million dollars worth of farm machines.   How do they ever make a profit?

They cannot make a profit buying farmland.  So they do not even try.  They rent land paying landowners about $90 an acre intent.



Just how much profit can a modern farmer expect … on a per acre basis?  Not much.


EASTERN ONTARIO: It could take about 50 years for crops to pay for acre of land

PEMBROKE — Some farmers say they will never see a profit from land purchases as the price of land is simply too high. However, some farmers are buying land as an investment, while others feel pressured to buy adjacent land. 

According to OMAFRA estimates, operating expenses for an acre of corn would cost $518 to $544 per acre, depending on the tilling system. If the acre yielded 160 bushels and the corn was sold for $5 a bushel, a farmer could expect $256 to $282 in profit. 

For soybeans, operating expenses could cost $265 to $288, said OMAFRA. Yielding 45 bu/ac sold at $11 a bushel would equal a $207 to $230 per acre profit. Those OMAFRA estimates include fungicides, insecticides, insurance and a bevy of other expenses, but do not include land rent or land purchasing.

If a farmer bought a piece of property at $12,000 an acre, and rotated only corn and soybeans, he would make almost $500 an acre every two years. It would take about 48 years for the corn and soybean profits to pay for the purchase.

Renfrew County farmer Darcy Smith purchased 230 acres at a reasonable rate from the bank last year after he put a bid on it. The land had been repossessed from another farmer. With land prices hovering around $6,500-$7,500 an acre in his area, that land would never pay for itself in a farmer’s lifetime, he said.


THIS 236 ACRE FARM near Hornby on the Fifth line has been empty for many years and is now for sale.  It is highly unlikely that a
farmer will buy it.    More likely a person with money will buy it in hope that it will increase in value.  Speculator.    Meanwhile Anthony
Acres may rent the land.




Here is a crop that has no value other than beauty in springtime.  Dandelions.   

alan